17 hardest things about being a parent [How you can beat it]

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Most people around the globe want to build their own families. Being a parent is one of the happiest and most unforgettable stages in the life of a parent. It is quite challenging despite many problems that you may encounter while raising your children.

From the day you will know that you will become a parent – the day you hold the baby in your arms. Until the day you need to feed them and gave them a better future. Here are some of the hardest things about being a parent and ways for you to beat it.

Defining a Good Parent

When can you call yourself a good parent? When your children got their degrees or when they have their cars and house and lot? All parents want to be good parents, but sometimes they gave all the things, not their time and love, for their children. Being a good parent, you need to provide everything for your children to become successful in life. Still, we also need to remember that our children need our time, passion, and love. Can you call yourself a good parent if you have at least hundreds of dollars in your pocket in a month, yet you can’t give them a little time to ask them if they are OK? We cannot answer it on our own. Our children’s attitude will show the answer.

List of the challenges you may encounter as a parent and the way to beat it

Single parenting

A single parent is one of the majorities of challenging parts of being a parent. It is hard in order to build a family alone. Being a single parent, you need to do everything by yourself to raise your child. Single parent faces a lot of struggle in raising their children. Some people argued that single motherhood had no known long-term negative consequences for children [1]. It can be negative if you will look negatively.

A single parent may be the hardest thing about being a parent, but if you have your determination, love, and support from your families. It will never become demanding and challenging. Not all children with both parents are raised well. Children with a responsible and lovable single parent will never feel that they are incomplete.

Teenage Moms and Dad

Being a teenager is the exploration stage of life. Some still believe in marriage before sex, but the majority are not. At least we respect their views in life. Teenage moms and dad will not enjoy their adolescent life. It is one of the consequences they will have from being aggressive. Worst sometimes their families reject them. It will be hard for them because they cannot find a job easily because of their age. But because they need to be more responsible enough, teenage mom and dad will do everything to raise their children no matter what. Because if you want something to happen, you will do everything to make it happen. Nothing is impossible. 

Being a teenage mom and dad is also one of the perks of a parent. Because of the parent and the children’s age gap, especially those teenagers, it is easy to talk to their parents and become best friends. Parents who become teenage moms and dads will become great teachers to their children to be responsible for every decision in their lives.

New Parents

New parents are new in everything. It exceptionally can be fascinating. They need to learn from their every experience. Sometimes, new parents seek advice, attend seminars, and even read books and do some research. Everything will need to adjust—every decision to consider your children, like buying a car, a house, and even food. Your lifestyle will be changed from every single detail of it.

It is hard to be a new parent, but the day you will hold your baby in your arms. You can do anything. It like your body can do anything according to what is needed to do. And little by little, you will be familiar with everything you need to do to raise your children. And as long as both parents are committed to what they are doing, it will become easier to adjust to their new environment. It will be recommended to read some more tips and guide in the 1st year of your baby.

What to Expect the First Year
The ideal book for you to learn things to be a good parent as a new parent. Many tips and pieces of advice for you to know

Parents living with their parents

In building your own family, it is hard to live with your parents. It has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. But in some families who are not in a good state of living, it is convenient for them to live with their parents. But if parents choose and chance to have their own home, it will be much better.

What are the pros of living with your parents?

  1. Someone will look in your children if you need to go to work or any event.
  2. It easy to get the advice you needed
  3. You can save more money
  4. You won’t do all the household chores after work
  5. Someone can prepare excellent food if you can’t
  6. You can learn from their experiences
  7. Still, you have a parent to look for you if you are sick

What are the cons of living with your parents?

  1. It is hard to discipline your children
  2. They gave all even if it is not needed
  3. They are spoiling your child
  4. You don’t have the freedom to do whatever you wanted to do
  5. You can’t have any house parties
  6. Negative thinking of people in your surrounding
  7. You will not learn some hardest lesson in life
  8. And lastly, your parent treats you like a child

Living with a parent is quite impressive despite having disadvantages. Yet, as a parent, you have to choose intelligently can be a better option for you. To live with your parents or to leave your parents. If you and your partner are working both, it is wise to live with your parents because we are not afraid of taking care of your child. But if you want to be independent, have all the freedom, decide on your own, and experience the real world, it’s an excellent choice to live on your own. But always remember, communication is the key. And even if you are on your own, make sure to take good care of your parents. Karma is still so much better to plant good things for your own sake.

Letting go of them: Marriage

Being a parent, one of the hardest to do is letting go of your children. As a parent, we gave all the things and love our children needed to have a promising future, but we need to accept that even they want to build their own family. Maybe it is hard to let them go because of the year that you are together. But as a parent, we love to make our children happy; maybe they are far away still in your height. And when the day they become a parent, they will realize all of the efforts you made for them to have a better future.

Letting go is not easy, primarily when we used to be together with them. But acceptance is the key, and don’t forget to guide your children in building their own family. Children will always remember their parents. They still love to celebrate specials occasions with them. Strong family bonding is vital for excellent family communication.

Crying in front of them makes you uncomfortable

Parents are afraid to cry in front of their children. They think that their children believe that they are weak because they are crying. As a parent, we encountered a lot of problems. One of the typical family problems is money. Let us face the reality that not all parents are at the same level in society if they feel that they are not a good enough parent for not providing their needs. It is very frustrating and depressing that it will tend for them to cry. They cry secretly. In what credo says that crying is good for everyone, his encouraging emotional expression promotes social change.[2] For some parents who have infants, toddlers, preschoolers, and children, it is hard to cry in front of them; their emotional feelings will also be affected. But sometimes we can open up or cry in front of our adolescent children and give some advice to you. Crying is not making you weak. Cry if you want and smile after that cause life must go on. Always make your children as inspiration. You will get tired, but you will never give up learning from the problems passing in your life and make it a lesson you will share with your children.

Lack of time for your child

As a parent, time is precious, but sometimes we are lack time management. Do you remember your child asks you to play with them, but you insist cause you need to go to work? Do you remember when the last time you spent together watching their favorite cartoons or movies? Do you remember when they ask you to help with their assignment? Do you remember the last time they need you? I guess you do not remember anymore, cause now your children can do all the things on their own. Your children have their friend that they can ask for help. As parents, we want to divide ourselves to do all the house chores, earn money, and be a good parent. It is hard for us to do all those things because we are still human. There is some point you will feel tired.

Nevertheless, time management is the key. Our children need our love, time, and affection. It is possible to do all those things if you manage your time. Does it step by step and do it together for you to provide some time with your children? You can also make your children involved in what you are doing, such as doing some house chores. It is a great bonding, yet they are learning in what you both doing. It is recommended to buy them some cleaning set of the toy. It is an excellent time to bond while doing some stuff and ample opportunity to teach them to do some house chores.

Kids cleaning set for toddlers
This toy will help you to teach your children to be responsible in doing chores. It is a great bonding, and they learn and enjoy

Kids tantrums in malls

Toddlers and preschoolers’ parents are the ones who experience this kind of scenario. Mommy, I want it! Daddy, I like it! Please buy me one new toy! Please. The standard line you hear when you and the child are going to the mall would be all the time if you passed at the toy section. And if you said no. They will shout and cry and cry that tend to buy those toys even if they already have many toys in your house. That is not a good practice for our children, teach them that they cannot have all the things they want they can have easily. Before going to the mall or any store, it is much better to talk to your child. Said that you would not buy any toy for them. Talk to them, make them understand, and it is much better to teach them at a very young age.

 I hate you, Mommy! I hate you, Daddy!

Those words are the most painful word your children will say to you. It will break your heart into pieces. At this point, you will question yourself. What wrong? What are the wrong things I do for them to say it? Hearing those words accept the fact that there is something wrong. And you need to know what it is to take action from it. Sometimes kids who do not get what they want or kids being scolded are the ones who said I hate you! And it is acceptable in different circumstances. It is OK when you did not give them time when you promised and broke it. But it is not permitted if only the reason is you don’t provide what they want materialistically. Say sorry if you know you are wrong. Being a parent does mean you are always right. Accept the fact that sometimes you are committed some wrongdoings that tends to hate you. And learn from it. Listen to them and talk to them calmly because we do not always know what they are feeling. And if your child says it because you didn’t give what they won’t teach them to be contended for what they had.

Letting go of them: Death

One parent said it is hard to bury your children—it like killing you inside. For them, it is much better to die first rather than their children. No one knows the day of our death, so much better to think that every day must be your last day. There are a lot of possible causes of death. It is not about the age of the children. Still, it is the taught that they are the one who dies first. Yes, in this case, it is hard to let go. To moving on. But do you think that your child is happy seeing you living in sorrow? It is a big NO. If parents want to make their children happy, their children enjoy it too. That’s why they do their best to do their parents’ dream for them. If the day comes, you need to move forward. Maybe they are lost physically, but still, they were living in your heart. If you have your children with you, make the best out of it. Make them feel loved because life is too short. Suppose life throws you a lemon. Make it a lemonade! The problem is everywhere you need to be a good fighter to be still until the end.

Difficulties in being a step-parent?

Not all relationship is work as planned, and not all relationship is like a fairytale with a happy ending. Being the biological parent is a lot of struggle I have come across. How come those step-parents? It is hard for the children to accept the step-parents, especially those who will not understand their parents’ real situations. The step-parent needs to do everything to win the heart of the children. They need to be committed and consistent in what they are doing. But no matter how hard things initially, with good communication and mutual understanding of the step-parent and step-children, they still become happy families. A great effort is required. Just be yourself and show them you have a good intention for them.

Watching them struggle

Parents do not want to see their child struggle. It is hard for them to see their children work, yet they cannot do anything about it. The children’s struggle the parents feel it twice as painful as they think. If parents have any chance to switch their life to their children’s lives, they will make it. But as a parent, we need to think that those struggles can lead to your children’s success. Always think positive in every battle in the life of your children. You are not still there. Don’t let them be dependent on you. It is much better for them to feel some struggle to be healthy and become better. If you cannot do anything, just gave them your trust and supported them. It is a better way for them to feel more comfortable enough to face and fight those struggles because life is full of surprises.

See them broken-hearted

Do you remember your first heartache? Maybe yes or maybe no. You smile on placing it. But how do you feel when you see your children cry when someone broke their hearts. Not all children want to see them crying. Why? Because they are afraid to hurt again. Some words or pieces of advice can hurt them. If you see them cry, let them be. And wait until the day they want to tell you the stories. Listen to them and comfort them for them to feel that they are still someone who loves them. We cannot remove love life from their lives. We cannot stop them from crying. But we can be their friend to call on and to give them advice. It is hard to see your children being broke, but you need to be intense because they rely on you. Piece of advice always asks your children if they are OK sometimes. They are smiling, yet they are dying inside. They can commit mistakes that can lead them to broke. All you need to do is to help them, listen to them gave some advice. Don’t always be mad if they make a mistake. You just added the burden. A simple explanation in terms of ‘broken heart’ cannot account for the pattern of results. [3] Maybe it is just a two word, a two word that can be a severe cause of some mortality cases.

Watching them growing old

When your baby is at your tummy, you want them to come out. When your baby is just lying in bed, you want them to walk. When your baby is little, you want them to grow. And now they were old, and it’s kind of hard to see them growing old too fast. You want to bring the day that they are still in your tummy. Yes, it is kind of hard to see your baby having their baby. But let us face the reality of life, be happy with it. The majority of those parents feel that their child grows too fast and has repentance in life. Because they are more focused on careers and other stuff, they did not give their children time. Those parents who are fully committed to taking good care of their child won’t have any repentance to see their child growing old. Instead, they are happy to see them growing old. Time, time, and time we need to treasure every time make the most out of it and always make time for your children. We don’t want to regret it late.

Lack of communication

Too close yet so far. Communication is the key to a great understanding. There are a lot of means of communication. Still talking in person will be the best. Teenagers, even preschoolers, are now using different gadgets it is made for communication. But now, because of advanced technology, it was made with various features. And children are now distracted. They have more time in their gadgets rather than going outside and play with other kids out there. Even parents, if their little one wants to play with them, all they can do is give their phones. In that case, their children will not bother to play with them anymore. And lack of communication can kill both parents and children. Communication within the family is very vital during the adolescent year of the children. [4] This year is the year they are exploring the world. We need to be there to guide them. And because it is the exploration stage, they try everything. We can eliminate the use of gadgets, but we can use them wisely as the primary purpose is for communication. It is still better to practice eating dinner together for the family to talk. And while your children are young, always listen to their stories even if you don’t understand them. Just show you are interested in getting used to it to tell stories of their life with you.

Having their own decision in life

It is hard to face the fact that your baby is not a baby anymore. They are deciding on their own. An excellent example of it is in choosing their degree. Some parents choose what they want and never considering what their children want. At that age, their child can think or choose what they want. But they don’t want to disappoint their parents, so they take those courses even if they don’t like them. If you are a parent, be happy when your children can decide their life. Don’t be sad if sometimes your decision will not be followed. Let them just guide them in every decision they make. Support them in every action they made as long as they do it in the right way. Be happy in every milestone they had.

Being present at all times

In every milestone they make, from the recognition, quiz bee, family day and graduations even birthdays. They want you to be at their side. But sometimes it cannot be possible to happen. Those parents who work abroad or working far away with your families to give them a better future. It is not easy to be present at all times. Even if you want it, there are a lot of things that need to be considered too. It will be hurtful to our children, but as long as you explain everything in every detail, they will understand it sooner or later. But always make sure when you are with them to recover those special occasions. Maybe they are happy with the presents you gave, but they are more satisfied with your presence.

An excellent example of it is the increasing number of Overseas worker who is being long term separated from their children.[5] Because parents want to give their children the best life and better future, they choose far away to support their needs financially. If you are not yet a parent, still you read this article, much better to plan your future. Because still, it is better to work and get home to see your children.

Leaving them with other people

As a parent, you need to provide for the needs of your children. There are times that you cannot ask your parents to look for them. You will need to hire baby sitter, nanny, or Yaya to look for them. It is hard to leave them with other, even your relatives, sometimes. You will never be comfortable in your work because of thinking about your children. What they are doing, what they are eating, and many more. It leads you to not focus on your work. You cannot leave your job cause you have bills and things you need to buy. All you can do is to trust the caretakers of your children. And if your partner is working, one of you needs to resign to focus on your children for you to have peace of mind. Just try to find some jobs that you can do in your home. Another option is to buy recommended wireless home security camera where you can monitor their activities.

Imperfections: Not accepting of who you are

Every parent has unique ways of raising their children. You don’t need to be like them to become a good parent. Because you also have different children- that are having different personalities. We have other lives, we have a different path, we need to be unique, and we can get some good traits, but we don’t need to be like them. Just be true your self accept your flaws, and be positive in life. Yes, maybe they had an Engineer son, but your son will become a pilot. Never compare your life to others. And never compare your children’s ability to others.

Final Thoughts

A parent’s job cannot be easy. It is a never-ending commitment. It is quite the hardest still; it is the happiest part of every parent’s life. Many ups and down may encounter, but with your children’s smile, all difficulties will fade. A child is a gift from above. You need to take good care of them, love, understand, and trust them every day. No matter the gender, you need to accept them and be happy with their decisions in life. Time, communication, acceptance, love, understanding, and trust are some list of the words you can give to your children.

[1] McLanahan, Sarah, and Gary Sandefur. Growing up with a single parent: What hurts, what helps. Harvard University Press, 2009.

[2] Nelson, Judith Kay. Seeing through tears: Crying and attachment. Psychology Press, 2005.

[3] Stroebe, Margaret S. “The broken heart phenomenon: An examination of the mortality of bereavement.” Journal of community & applied social psychology 4.1 (1994): 47-61.

[4] Barnes, Howard L., and David H. Olson. “Parent-adolescent communication and the circumplex model.” Child development (1985): 438-447.

[5] Arguillas, Marie Joy B., and Lindy Williams. “The impact of parents’ overseas employment on educational outcomes of Filipino children.” International Migration Review 44.2 (2010): 300-319.

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Diana Lucas

Diana Lucas

Hi, Diana here. Welcome to my blog and hope you like my sharing. I am a mother of 2 boys, 3 years old and a 1 year old. I dedicate my career in child development research and I focus on parenting tips, positive parenting, educational toys for my babies. Your time here means a lot to me! Diana A. Lucas