How Do I Boost My Confidence as a Mom?

What's Covered

Reminisce the days when you were still single – how was your confidence back then? Is it still the same or did it get low? Perhaps before you were a groovy, ready-to-go person and you have no problems with time management. Then, a little human became a part of your life and from that moment, there were times when your confidence is getting low especially when you are a new mom. So, how will you boost your confidence as a mom?

Boosting Your Baby Knowledge Can Boost Your Confidence as a Mom

            There are instances in your life as a mother when something happens to your child and you have no idea how to deal with it. According to a study, if you are knowledgeable about raising kids, your confidence is actually increasing.[1] For this reason, giving yourself knowledge about taking care of a child will be a great way for you to be confident as a mom. Say, for instance, your child is 4 months old and you wonder if you should be feeding them with semi-solid foods. How will you answer this question in your head? Of course, you will be unsure! But when you are educated about proper ways of taking care of your child, you will be confident enough to do things right away! This is simply because you have the knowledge about the right and wrong things in taking care of your little one.

            Personally, even before I gave birth to my baby boy, I started educating myself about pregnancy and raising a child through videos and books, and honestly, raising my little boy was still hard when I gave birth until he turned 1 year old. However, it was not as hard as  I expected and I believe that educating myself really did help me face everyday challenges. Remember, the more you learn, the more confident you will be!

Newborn Care Basics
This book will increase your knowledge in taking care of your child as they grow older and for sure, you will be a  happier and contented parent.

Experts Can Boost Your Mom Confidence

            Who are these experts? For me, these are the healthcare professionals and our parents, too. According to a study, healthcare professionals actually help in increasing a parent’s confidence.[2] At times when I worry about my child especially when it is late at night, I immediately contact my child’s pediatrician and ask for an appointment and I take advantage of these appointments in talking all of my concerns. This is because I trust these experts. Although I am a Pharmacist and I deal with medicines, when it comes to my child, I always make sure that I am doing the right thing. So, before I let my child use OTC medicines even if I am knowledgeable of these medicines, I always talk to my colleagues and other experts.

            Other experts for me are the parents and this is because they are experienced people. They are easily contacted and their opinions are helpful. But, how about the parents who cannot contact anyone? What would you do? The usual thing you may do is go online and search about symptoms and illnesses or first aid activities but there are many self-proclaimed experts online. Additionally, some results online may only anxious you more! With this, it is important that you always ask these experts the things you can do when you are facing an unfamiliar situation for your child. If you do not what to do and you cannot contact one, it is important to always have a book about child safety and health on your shelf!

Sale
Nutrition, Health and Safety for Young Children
Having  this book will give you the peace of security whenever something happens to your little ones.

            Additionally, I recommend always take down notes when you visit your child’s pediatrician. According to a study, when a person is under pressure, that person will usually forget some information.[3] For this reason, it is important to have that pen and ball pen with you especially when you are more stressed because of a certain situation.

Sale
First-Time Mom's Baby Journal
Getting this journal will let you be organized and attentive to the notes you need to remember whenever you visit your child’s doctors. Additionally, it will save you more money since you will not need another appointment when you forget some information.

Implementing a Positive Self-care Is a Way in Boosting Confidence

            Positive self-care means encouraging yourself when you feel low. Always remember that you are new to this and it is okay to be lost sometimes. As a parent, you also need to nurture yourself, and the very first way to nurture yourself is by being kind to yourself especially when you feel lost. As much as possible, be optimistic because negative thoughts can really damage your confidence.

            You may be a supermom but not all the time. You can use a journal and write positive thoughts every morning. With this, you can actually start your day promising. You can also use this journal and write your morning prayers. For sure, you will calm and confident to start another journey for the day!

Amazon Basics Bonded Leather Journal
Getting this journal will allow you to be more positive in mind and in heart.

Motherhood Communities Can Boost Mom Confidence

            According to a study, the confidence of a mother is increased or boosted when she is part of a community that promotes empowerment.[4] Personally, this way of boosting my confidence as a mom is amazing. I am a member of an online mom group and I always read posts and comments on that page and honestly, I am learning through those. Joining a community makes you feel that you are not alone and there are many mothers who are in the same boat as you! Knowing this will actually make you confident. For instance, something popped out of your child’s skin and it may be rashes or pimples and when you have a community, you can actually turn on that community. Eventually, when you see an event same as of your child, your worries will be lessened and your confidence is boosted to face that problem or event.

Knowing the Things You Are Good at Can Keep Your Confidence High

            Of course, being great when you are a parent is not limited to parenting or being a good wife or father. Your goal is not to be looked upon by many people. Focus on your strength and the things you are good at. Knowing these can boost your confidence as a mom and as a person. So, do not doubt yourself.

Learn to Plan and Prepare in Order To Have a Higher Confidence

            You always have to be prepared especially when you have little ones. Make planning and preparing your habit and you actually start this during pre-pregnancy. According to a study, preparation can actually build and increase confidence.[5] Weeks before I give birth to my baby boy, I started preparing the stuff I need on my operation day (since I already have a schedule because I will undergo a cesarean section). These items are my clothes, napkins, first-aid items, and my little boy’s clothes, feeding bottles, etc. I placed these items on a mega box and I did this because I do not want to rush and come unprepared. I always imagine scenarios and I am full of what-ifs. What if I get an emergency operation? What if I suddenly feel like I am about to give birth? If any of this happens, I would just have to pick up that mega box and rush to the hospital. At least, I do not have to ask anyone to prepare those stuff for me. Confidence? Checked!

IRIS USA TB-17
Using this storage box will always make you prepared and ready.

            When you are bringing up your little ones, planning, and preparing is a necessary. Think of the future and plan well. Right now, what’s on my mind is my child’s education. I know I have to plan for it and start saving because I do not want to get a loan and have my child pay for it when he grows up. You know, these are just examples and it will always depend on your life situation. So, better prepare and plan so that when the day comes, you will face it confidently!

Keep Your Confidence High By Using Criticisms Positively

            According to a study, criticisms actually help in boosting a parent’s self-confidence especially when criticisms are positively taken.[6]          

For me, this is actually a great way to boost your confidence as a mom. Many people surrounding you may give you criticisms when you are raising your child and these criticisms are given based on their beliefs. Remember that these criticisms are only opinions and it is your choice to them or not. When you receive these criticisms, receive them positively, and do not let them lower your confidence. Try to understand these criticisms and learn from them. Additionally, use them to improve yourself. You may not notice but when you face a problem or situation, you will actually be more confident because you have learned something from the criticisms of other people.

            Using criticisms positively also means you are not gullible enough to follow bad advice. Always be sure that the advice you take is applicable to your children. Of course, you would not follow advice about feeding your 2 months old with semi-solid food just because they did it onto their children!

Find Yourself a Confident Model

            Let other people inspire you. Having someone you look up to as a good role model can actually boost your confidence! According to a study, choosing a good role model can enhance men’s and women’s confidence levels.[7] Try to follow their confident ways: the way they move and handle a demanding situation especially when it comes to their child. Additionally, you can talk to them and learn from them. Surrounding yourself with confident mothers will also make you one! Eventually, when you become a more confident mother, other people will also be inspired by you! Remember, confidence is infectious. Be infected with it.

            Looking for a confident role model also means being around positive people. Be with those who have good intentions. Choose those people with genuine thoughts because these people will you to become stronger, better, and more confident.

Be Assertive If You Want to Keep Your Confidence High

            Developing confidence is linked with being assertive.[8] Believe in your principles and stand up for them but remember that when you stand up for them, you do not start arguments. However, being assertive is not limited to this. Being assertive also means changing your ways when you know that the other point is more correct.

Your Confidence Is Affected by Your Calmness

            Confidence and calmness are associated. Learning to more confident requires learning to stay calm in every situation. Say, for example, a very simple accident happened to your little baby and normally, you would feel anxious about it. However, it is important to learn to stay calm because being calm will draw you solutions. When you remain calm under pressure, you will actually learn to be confident next time.

            The first incident that happened to my little boy was actually 4 months ago and he got bumped on the edge of our bed and he got swollen and bleeding lips. My husband called me and when I saw my child, I felt anxious and I cried a little because of the blood but then I tried to keep calm and address the problem. Eventually, I was able to think well. Now that I have experienced that situation, I kind of feel confident that when something like that happens again, I already know what to do, and I already know how to avoid it.

Sale
Positive Under Pressure
Reading this book will actually teach you techniques on how to be calm when stressful events are around you. In future, you will learn how to deal with everything positively.

Avoiding Arrogance Can Increase Your Confidence

            When you are confident, you feel very successful. According to a study, too much arrogance can lower other people’s confidence.[9] It is important to keep in mind that you must not look at others as inferior to you. Always remember that there are more things you will learn and experience. For this reason, you are not superior to anyone. You can celebrate your successes without stepping on other people.

            When you are a mom and you feel so confident about being a great one, use this as a way of helping others. Yes, you can give opinions but always make sure to give in a friendly and kind way.

Genius Consciousness
Taking these supplements will actually help you stay calm and smart whenever you are facing an argument. Truly, with this product, you will be able to focus more in doing what is right and your mood will always be positive.asiin

Act like a Pro, Act Confident

            One way to boost your confidence as a mom is by acting like you are a pro in taking care of your child. According to a study, acting confident will actually make you more confident![10] Overcome your fears. For mothers who have children in grade school, there may be days when you are asked to see the school principal and when you enter that situation, act confidently. Get out of your comfort zone and live confidently. You will be surprised by the results! You will be more confident and your child will safer and calmer.

            During the first days of my child, I was afraid back then to give him a bath. Actually, I had to call my mother-in-law to bathe my child for me. However, I realized that if I do not try it, I would not learn! So when my stitch from my operation got removed, I practiced bathing my child and I felt so happy and my confidence is really boosted! I had the confidence to bathe him every day! Indeed, acting like a pro and practicing is a great way especially when you use effective items and objects to make your life easier!

Overcome Unpleasing Mommy Feelings to Keep Your Confidence High

            Indeed, there will be days when you feel like you are not enough and these days may come when your baby is hurt. You will feel guilty, terrible, and sad but as much as possible, try to overcome these feelings. It is okay and will always be okay especially when you are a new mom! Do not be stuck on these feelings. Instead, move on and do something to prevent bad things from happening again. Surely, your confidence will be boosted when you learn from your mistakes.

Lose the Audience When Your Confidence is at Risk

            There are many days when my little boy cannot be calmed and I kind of feel bad about it especially when we are in the public. I feel bad because there are unsolicited advices even if they do not know what the problem really is. When this happens, what I do is that I go to another quiet place and I will calm my little boy there. It does not just move him away from a stimulating environment but we also get away from people trying to judge us.

            When you feel like you are losing your confidence when people look at you terribly, go and find a way to move back from them. Do not let other people make you lose your confidence. Go ahead and do your job confidently. For this reason, I recommend you always bring an item that will trick your crying child.

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Kidz Delight Tech Too
Having these items wherever you go are great tools to get your child’s attention and additionally, these toys can calm them. Having these will give you a sense of peace and calmness.

Being Decisive Can Increase Your Confidence

            Boosting your confidence as a mom by being decisive is an effective way. According to a study, decisiveness and confidence are associated.[11] You can start boosting your confidence when you go to the supermarket. For example, you are looking for baby shampoo. Do not stay there for long just because you do not know what to choose. Instead, be confident and decide based on what you know.

            However, there are really times when you cannot decide. When you feel this, go ahead and ask your partner! Your partner will not damage your confidence. Instead, both of you will learn! One time, my husband and I were in the supermarket and I thought of changing the size of my child’s diaper from XL to XXL. I was confident because I feel like XL is getting smaller for my boy and my husband agreed with me! When we got home, we tried this XXL and found out that it is too big! So, the next we bought packs of the diaper, we choose to get the ones we used to buy. You see, you will be more confident when you learn and it is better when you learn together with your partner!

Express Your Emotions in Order to Feel Confident

            Expressing emotions do not just mean releasing your stress through crying. It also means not hiding your feelings from your child. If your child keeps on throwing tantrums, it is okay to let them know that you are upset! However, when you show them your feelings, make sure that you will explain to them the reasons why. Justifying is important here. For sure as they grow older, they will understand and learn about these emotions.

            I am glad to see my child understand my upset times. I do not like it that much when my child sees me crying but when I cry I tell him the reasons why and the next time he sees me crying, he would usually say “Mommy, don’t cry okay? I love you so much!” I believe my child is like this because I make him understand and that is very important. According to a study, making your child understand what emotions are at an early age can help them manage their emotions.[12]

Confidence Is Affected by Comparisons

Another way to boost your confidence is by just being confident enough to say “I’m glad and happy with my child’s development” Many people around you will criticize you and these people may even include your in-laws. According to a study, comparisons affect confidence in a child and in parents.[13] It is important to stay confident and let go of the comparisons they say.

I have an in-law and she has a child of the same age as mine. They were just 1 month old apart and comparisons never stop. People around us usually see my child smarter than the other one. However, as they grow older, the other one is the first one who learned to talk smoothly and comparisons are there again. Sometimes, I felt that low confidence: “Was it me or my husband’s fault?” Then, I realized that none of us were at fault. That is how I regained and boosted my confidence: by being contented and happy for our child’s development.

Comparisons also happen to parents. Do not compare yourself with other parents. Do not torture yourself when you feel insecure. Do not degrade yourself when you feel like you are not like other moms and do not let your deficiencies consume you. Remember that you are unique and put in your mind that other mothers also have deficiencies and insecurities.

Increase Your Confidence by Making Time for Yourself

      Spare some 15-20 minutes of your time and use this time to nourish yourself. As a parent, you also need to balance your life in order to give the best care for your child. You also need to recharge and there are many ways you can recharge in a mother way. In fact, showing your child that you are taking care of yourself will make you a good role model for them.

Quick bubble bath

Have a quick bubble bath to relax your muscles especially after frowning! Go ahead and get that relaxing bath!

24 Organic & Natural Bath Bombs
Using these will actually make you feel refreshed and relaxed. Additionally, you will feel happier and comfortable when you have these while bathing. These items will give you peace in your mind and positive thoughts.

Listen to a soothing music

Music can soothe you. Choose wonderful and relaxing music.

Libratone Zipp Mini 2 Portable Smart Speaker
Even when you are working and doing house chores, using these speakers will actually help you in soothing your mind using relaxing songs. It also do not use electricity therefore your money will be saved as well.

Exercise

It is important to improve posture as your posture can also show how confident you are. Do some yoga and other stretching activities.

Yapeach Yoga Mat
Having this yoga mat will make you more comfortable and relaxed while exercising.

Undistracted Time Can Make You More Confident

            One way to boost your confidence is by knowing that you are doing a great job. Right? So, how will you know that you are really doing a great job? Conquer with your child and observe your child’s abilities. If you see their improvement, you will actually feel contented. Additionally, you can actually use this time to relax as well.

Being Generous Can Increase Your Confidence as a Mom

            Yes, you read that right! Generosity is linked with confidence and there are many ways to show your generosity. If you have time, you can actually babysit your friend’s child. This will be a great way to boost your confidence if you are expecting a baby.

Sale
The Babysitter's Survival Guide
Being knowledgeable about babysitting can help you become more confident. When you get to understand the things on this book, you will be able to learn and execute the right things when taking care of a child or even a new born. When you learn a lot of things, you will be able to save money because you need not to hire one.

Increase Your Confidence by Pampering Yourself

            According to a study, pampering yourself is a way to boost your confidence as a mom.[14] Way back when you were still single, you have that great sexy body and posture and we cannot deny it but after giving birth, we get those extra fats! However, it is important to understand that making your appearance your priority is not about wearing those make-ups or being someone you are not.

            Of course, physical fitness is important as a way of taking care of your appearance, and there times when you can no longer control your body fats. So, what would you do? Go ahead and wear those shining shoes. Go ahead and curl your hair. Go to that salon and have some manicure and pedicure! Do what you feel will make you beautiful inside and out!

Cordless Automatic Hair Curler
If you want to be confident, you can start doing it on your hair. Having this product will actually help you become confident day by day.

            I used to curl my hair and buy many new shoes because that is my way to become confident. Way back during the first months of being a mother, my husband and I were struggling financially and this is one reason why I have no confidence. But opportunities came and somehow, my husband manage to buy me good stuff like hair and curler, and actually, these things made me more confident whenever go out!

            Also, proper hygiene is a way to boost your confidence as a mom. Take care of yourself while you are taking good care of your child. Do not neglect the duties you need to do for yourself. To do this, making a daily routine will help.

Convenience Kits International Women’s Premium 2-Piece Assembled Necessities Travel Kit
If you do not know how to start a proper hygiene, having this kit will help you do a great habit. Having them as a set will save your time in finding good products while you are at the supermarket.

Do Not Forget Your Fashion Because Fashion Increases Confidence

            Before even getting in a relationship, you already have your own taste when it comes to clothes and you wear these clothes because you are comfortable and these clothes make you confident. We cannot deny it but as we become mothers, our sense of fashion starts to diminish. However, it must not be like that. If you want to boost your confidence, you should not stop yourself from wearing the clothes that make you feel confident! Although motherhood is stressful, it is important to learn to never discriminate yourself.

            When I gave birth to my child, I never ever wore my favorite sexy clothes, and this because I feel like I should not especially now that I am a mother. But then, my mom reminded me that I should stay the way I was before. Motherhood should not make me feel like I should also wear “mommy clothes”, forever. I followed that advice and indeed, my confidence is the same as before!

Build a Strong Relationship with Your Partner to Level-up Your Parenting Confidence

            Your husband is your foundation and you have to make sure that your relationship with your husband is strong enough in order for you to raise a child confidently. You can never be confident if you are having struggles in your relationship. If you are experiencing this, how will you confidently raise a child? Do something about it and love each other genuinely.

Your Parenting Way Can Increase Your Confidence

            Do not be afraid to raise your child differently. You should remember that the only person who knows you’re your little one best is you and so with this, you know a great parenting way for your child. Actually having your own parenting way does not just boost your confidence as a mom but also is a great way to help your child develop many skills and abilities in life.

Be the Mom Your Child Will Admire

            Being a good role model for your children will actually teach them in making nice decisions. I am a medical practitioner and I see my child appreciating my profession. He even gets my coat and pretends he is a doctor! Never doubt yourself because this will lower your confidence and when you doubt yourself, your children will imitate you. Show your children a great future. Be confident in showing this future to them because when they see you being so confident, they will also grow confidently.

Increase Your Confidence by Being Organized

            Do the things you need to and finish them as much as possible when you can. Although it is very stressful to do many chores while working to get paid, you will actually feel accomplished when you do the things you need to do.

            When you ignore the things that must be done, these things are always on your mind and eventually, there will be a mess and you would not get enough focus. Always remember to be organized because this will affect your confidence level.

AOJIA Slim Storage Cart
Learning to be organized starts in your home and having this organizer will help you practice on how to be organized. Eventually, when you are organized, you will feel peace and confident to do another demanding work.

Talking to Your Mom Can Boost Your Confidence

            I refer to my mom as “mother earth” because I find her all-knowing. When I am bothered by motherhood, I talk to her a lot of times and eventually, I will feel more confident to face another day. It is important to trust your mother because they have been a parent for years. You cannot be confident if you have doubts. So, if you have doubts, go ahead and ask for help from your mother. My mom is a fan of teas and when I get to talk to her, I bring some and you know what? Both of us get calm! Find an item that suits the likes of your mom and use this as a token of appreciation.

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Best Mom Ever Coffee Mug
Giving your parents token of gratitude will deepen your relationship with them. They will feel that they are loved and appreciated for the things they’ve done for you.

Do Not Talk About the Things That May Lower Your Confidence

            Talking about the things you do not like will actually make you uncomfortable and when you are uncomfortable, your confidence is affected. Discomfort can lead to low self-esteem.[15] With this, as much as possible try to talk about happy things or things that will boost your confidence.

            Personally, this point is actually true. When my husband tells me the things that I am uncomfortable with, I tend to lose my confidence and my day will start to get gloomy. So, when things like this happen, I always tell my husband my thoughts and emotions so that he will be aware.

Do Not Expect Too Much So That You Can Keep Your Confidence High

            Expecting too much is not only about expecting from other people. Expecting too much also involves you. As much as possible do not expect too much from yourself. Do not set high standards because when you fail to get or achieve these standards, your confidence is compromised. Know your limitations and set realistic standards.

            Way back when I am not yet a parent, I used to be a dreamer of many things and my superior made me realized that I should not expect too much because I will be disappointed. I should not plan too much because when I fail, I’ll lose my confidence. Amazingly, what my colleague said was true. I got pregnant and failed to achieve my goals on time.

            With regards to parenting, as much as possible, try to be realistic and do not expect that you will always be the best. In this way, when you fail your confidence will remain and you will still continue to do the things you can in your own way.

Final Thoughts

            As a mom, your confidence level will always change and this will make you feel emotional. Personally, when I feel these insecurities and low self-esteem, I turn on to God and I rest in Him. I tell all my worries and in no time, I will better and my confidence is back!


[1] Breiner, Heather, et al. “Parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices.” Parenting matters: Supporting parents of children ages 0-8. National Academies Press (US), 2016.

[2] Kuo, Ching-Pyng, et al. “Parenting confidence and needs for parents of newborns in Taiwan.” Iranian journal of pediatrics 22.2 (2012): 177.

[3] Kensinger, Elizabeth A. “Remembering the details: Effects of emotion.” Emotion review 1.2 (2009): 99-113.

[4] Kachoosangy, Reihaneh Askary, et al. “Increasing Mothers’ Confidence and Ability by Creating Opportunities for Parent Empowerment (COPE): A Randomized, Controlled Trial.” Iranian journal of child neurology 14.1 (2020): 77.

[5] Budin, Wendy C. “Building Confidence.” (2017): 107-109.

[6] Wairimu, Mburu Josephine, Susan M. Macharia, and Ann Muiru. “Analysis of Parental Involvement and Self-Esteem on Secondary School Students in Kieni West Sub-County, Nyeri County, Kenya.” Journal of Education and Practice 7.27 (2016): 82-98.

[7] Wohlford, Kathryn E., John E. Lochman, and Tammy D. Barry. “The relation between chosen role models and the self-esteem of men and women.” Sex roles 50.7 (2004): 575-582.

[8] Eslami, Ahmad Ali, et al. “The effectiveness of assertiveness training on the levels of stress, anxiety, and depression of high school students.” Iranian Red Crescent Medical Journal 18.1 (2016).

[9] Tanesini, Alessandra. “I—‘Calm Down, Dear’: Intellectual Arrogance, Silencing and Ignorance.” Aristotelian Society Supplementary Volume. Vol. 90. No. 1. Oxford University Press, 2016.

[10] Bem, Daryl J. “Self-perception theory.” Advances in experimental social psychology. Vol. 6. Academic Press, 1972. 1-62.

[11] Ireland, R. Duane, Michael A. Hitt, and J. Clifton Williams. “Self-confidence and decisiveness: Prerequisites for effective management in the 1990s.” Business Horizons 35.1 (1992): 36-44.

[12] Tominey, Shauna L., et al. “Teaching emotional intelligence in early childhood.” YC Young Children 72.1 (2017): 6-14.

[13] Oppenheimer, Dana. “How does social comparison affect self-esteem in the classroom after receiving an exam grade.” (2015).

[14] Bagheri-Nesami, Masoumeh, et al. “Association between self-care behaviors and self-esteem of rural elderlies; necessity of health promotion.” Materia socio-medica 28.1 (2016): 41.

[15] Park, Kiwoong, and Tse-Chuan Yang. “The long-term effects of self-esteem on depression: The roles of alcohol and substance use during young adulthood.” The Sociological Quarterly 58.3 (2017): 429-446.

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Author

Vivian Perry

Vivian Perry

Mother of 3 kids. Enjoy reading parenting books and studied child care degree. Vivian loves to learn and write about parenting tips and help her kids to grow positively with grit mindset.
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