How do stay at home moms cope? [Practical tricks]

What's Covered

This is a vast topic that covers many aspects of a mother’s life. They need to manage the housework, kids’ care, and if they are having an office job or working from home they have to keep a balance as well between house/family and job.

Mothers have the toughest job and responsibilities ever. They need a lot of patience and power and wisdom to teach little human beings, kids, who can’t function on their own.

Being women they face many challenges due to their intense emotional nature. If they get a peaceful environment, to raise their kids, and help, during difficult times, from family and friends they can raise an amazing future generation.

How moms, staying at home, benefit the family

The mothers, who leave their careers for the sake of the well-being of the family or even without any career, when staying at home they benefit the family in many ways.

  • The house is cleaned all the time and no mess can be seen anywhere. The moms who stay at home and embrace it as a full-time duty, try to make their houses heaven. So they keep the houses neat and clean and everything is in their place.
  • The family gets home-cooked food with all the healthy and nutritious ingredients. Healthy food provides good nourishment for the mind and body.
  • Children get help and guidance with education and are punctual with completing homework and practicing for the exams.
  • They spend more time close to children and can understand their children’s needs better. They can be observant and quickly take action if they see any mental or physical problems with the child.
  • There are hassle-free bedtime and morning routines. Children are more organized and have a good understanding of the expectations.
  • For emergency times mother is always at home to manage.
  • Moms at home are always there to help everyone with any kind of problem. So moms at home are the best support system.

Challenges that staying at home moms face

Though the children and the whole family benefits a lot from a mom who stays at home. There are many challenges that the mother faces alone.

1.   Missing adult company

When mothers are at home 24/7 with children and are trying to finish the daily errand they are left with no time to interact with other adults. As a result, they miss the adult company and communication that is a need of humans.

It causes stress and anxiety as they don’t get to talk to someone of their level and share the sorrows and happiness.

2. Financial dependency

Imagine answering someone for spending money every time you go out for any reason. This can be a cause of frustration sometimes because you might get some obligations or allegations of misuse of money.

3. Answerable all the time

Mothers are always in the spotlight regarding their children. They get a lot of free advice for everything without even knowing their situation or parenting mentality.

People never think that mothers are only human and can also make mistakes. They will learn many things with experience as they need time to understand the psychology of children.

4. Never appreciated for efforts

As mothers are always considered to be a natural caretaker of the family and house they never get appreciated for the good things happening in the house. Nobody analyzes that the mother is the biggest contributor to maintaining harmony in the house.

But with a little mistake, everybody quickly points the finger at the mother who is always at home. Staying at home makes her responsible for everything happening.

SAHM depression

The one biggest challenge that every mother faces nowadays is called SAHM(staying at home mom) depression.[1]

SAHM depression is developed when the mothers enter the stressful phase of overloaded responsibilities, zero social life, the feeling of loss of identity, and many other external factors.

It increases with the pressure of keeping up with all the expectations and trying to be perfect. When people think that you have the advantage of staying all the time at home and don’t have an exhausting job.

And this SAHM depression is very common and can be seen in many mothers. Staying close to children all the time makes you think more about them and their problems and needs.

This keeps mothers mostly worried about the well-being of their children. And most mothers keep thinking if they are doing something wrong which increases confusion as well.

To cope with depression, anxiety and all other challenges mothers need a good coping system. Following are discussed some methods with which staying at home moms can manage different situations effectively.

Tips and tricks that moms, at home, use to keep sanity

Old were the times when moms were only considered to be focusing on a household and forget about their own time. Now the times have changed, peoples’ thoughts have changed and a lot of voices have been raised for women’s rights.

Mothers now get help with the housework and they are considered to have time for themselves. Which is necessary to stay in good shape and to relax and stay sane.

So that they can focus better on the good upbringing of children. In today’s world mothers are like superhuman beings and they are having strategies to cope with everything, being full-time closed inside the home.

1.   Teaming up with other moms

Mothers are connecting in large numbers to share their experiences and get help with many children’s problems. Sometimes when they can’t finish a task alone they get help from other moms and make the job easier and quicker.

Because mothers have so much to do at home, teaming up with other moms helps to finish time-consuming projects at home.

2. Finish outdoor tasks alone

Taking out kids for groceries or picking up some important things from a shop is a big hassle. It starts with a lot of preparations from home.

Like getting kids ready, packing snacks, and packing little toys or books to keep kids busy. This takes so much time before going out and then managing kids while errands is another big task.

The best policy that moms use now is that they ask someone to babysit the kids and they go alone for outdoor tasks.

3. Become an early riser

Many moms who stay at home all day long don’t get enough time to connect with themselves. Also, they don’t even get time to look after their own important body needs.

So to cope with this kind of situation moms prefer to be early risers. When everybody else is sleeping they get some time for their important work, or reading, yoga, or just have breakfast in peace to eat what they love without sharing. 

4. Find accomplishment in house duty

Our society only considers an office job to be a REAL job. Or it acknowledges the skills of those people who use their education in some form of profession.

Everybody overlooks the job of moms that is even, sometimes, more than full time. This job is using education, knowledge, skills, everything.

So one thing that moms do to cope with this pressure or sense of having no accomplishment is to find achievement in little things. For example, working on renovating the drawing-room or kids rooms, or preparing meals on time or for the whole week.

5. Maybe find little work outside the home

Many women who had a career before leaving their jobs for kids, still have the urge of doing some job outside the home. The best way is that when the kids grow a little older to take care of themselves women can find easy flexible jobs outside.

They will get some adult company as well as they will get a chance to showcase their skills. Appreciation will give a sense of achievement and moms will get out of the boredom zone.

6. Arrange to gather with friends

This is very normal for mothers to feel so much bound and trapped inside one place. Mothers feel isolated and nobody is there to share their feelings with as men are different and women-only better understand women.

For this reason, mothers can arrange gatherings with other mothers to share the whole week or month. These gatherings could be mother-only or can also be playdate for kids.

Both ways mothers can get to meet some people who can understand their issues or life and can relate.

7. Get good suggestions from experienced mothers

Sometimes mothers question their decisions regarding the upbringing of kids in a specific phase like homeschooling or Montessori at home, or starting sports but doubting if it’s perfect for your kid’s age.

A better way is to discuss with some experienced mother who you respect and feel to be authentic with good knowledge.

8. Get Fresh Air daily

It is very important for every human being to get in the fresh air and closer to nature for at least 15 minutes. Mothers who stay fresh and get some time in the fresh air can keep up with all the household responsibilities better.

9. Burn out some calories

Mothers are not supposed to have intense workouts daily to stay fit but a little exercise routine is a mood booster. It removes all the negative energy, gives good blood circulation to make the brain calm and healthy.[2]

It will help with the weight issues and give physical and mental strength to cope better with household matters. When you are positive you keep a nice and happy environment for children at home.

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10. Hot shower and dressing

A hot shower works like magic, it washes away all the fatigue and relaxes the body muscles. Taking a hot shower at the end of the day or before starting the day is a good and healthy habit.

As moms who stay at home don’t have to go outside much, they don’t need to stay in their PJs all day long. To make themselves feel good and nice they can dress up every day that will help them feel better.

11. Never leave your hobby

That one thing you always loved to do before kids and cherished as a hobby, don’t forget it. Each day take out some time for that favorite task even if you get only 20 minutes.

It helps moms to be themselves and feel happy and content so they can have enough strength to deal with the children’s tantrums and meltdowns.

12. Remove the word of perfection from your dictionary

Another great strategy that helps moms at home cope daily is to never think that they can be perfect. It will help to focus on what you can do best and will never make you feel down about the little failures.

Anyways nobody is perfect so why bother so much about perfection.

13. Stay away from social media for ideas

Spending too much time on social media for ideas for kids’ activities, or arranging little kids’ parties or play dates will not help. Rather it will just end up in more frustration of a big wish list of activities.

Trust your instincts and ideas that you come up on your own with the things available at home. Appreciate your creativity and parenting style.

14. Indulge in self-care

Learn to love yourself and get every opportunity to take care of yourself. When you get time give yourself a spa treatment or take help from different luxury products at home.

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15. Get required sleep

From the beginning of pregnancy, the mothers step into the phase of sleepless nights. But sleep is very crucial for human mental and physical health.[3]

If mothers don’t get enough sleep they end up in mental asylum due to heavy responsibilities and emotional nature. So whenever it’s possible to catch up with the sleep whether it be power naps or an hour of sleep during the day.

16. Eat healthy and sufficient

Though it’s normal for mothers to skip meals sometimes due to many chores at hand and sometimes they just forget. But eating healthy food as per body requirement is very essential and keeps you going.[4]

So if you want to be a mother to have control over everything the best way is to take out time for healthy eating.

17. Involve fathers

The efficient housewives and mothers try to discuss every matter in detail with their husbands. To stay on the same page is very important to keep a balanced and peaceful environment at home.

Trusting your partner with child care in your absence will be helpful for you. But it’s also very healthy for children to see the father helping the mother and developing a strong bond with the father.

18. Don’t hesitate to go for therapy or counseling

When you feel very frustrated and don’t understand what to do, get some external help from mental health practitioners. Getting help for your mental health is not a shame.

You get someone who listens to you without interruption and who you believe will provide ways to get out of frustration. Recognizing that your mental health is going down and getting therapy treatment on time is the choice of smart people.

19. Make the kids time memorable

A mother is all about love and she wants to be the best mother. So when spending time with children, spend less but make that time enjoyable for yourself.

Do silly things or sometimes act like a child for their happiness and above all, it will make you happier. Count this time as the important and valuable time of the day.

20. Be prepared for every scenario

The more you are mentally prepared for the unforeseen the calmer and less panicky you are. By the time you become a mother try to start thinking about every scenario around kids.

And when you are completely prepared you can even handle the situation like a champ. It also gives a signal to kids that somebody is already in charge and they feel more secure.

21. Avoid comparing yourself with other moms

Now and then a human falls into a trap of comparing themselves with others. Especially mothers, due to pressure from every direction start doing this unintentionally.

Be easy on yourself and always tell your heart and mind that you are doing your best. Your children are different from others and you know them best so whatever you do for your kids is best for them.

Final Thoughts

Staying at home is not a luxurious experience for mothers. And those who think that the staying at home moms get more time to relax should take the role for a day.

Talking about staying at home doesn’t mean that we are against the moms who work outside. But respecting every mother for her efforts and appreciating her equally is a social responsibility of everyone.

Staying at home moms should also keep it in their mind that they are doing an incredible job. With all the patience and multitasking ability they are being superhumans.

Less parental advice should be given to mothers who are learning every day and already putting all their effort to raise well mannered, smart, and responsible kids. If you want to do something, appreciate them and celebrate their achievements, powers, and abilities every day.


[1] Mendes, Elizabeth, Lydia Saad, and Kyley McGeeney. “Stay-at-home moms report more depression, sadness, anger.” The Gallup Poll (2012).

[2] Vecchio, Laura M., et al. “The neuroprotective effects of exercise: maintaining a healthy brain throughout aging.” Brain plasticity 4.1 (2018): 17-52.

[3] Atkinson, Greg, and Damien Davenne. “Relationships between sleep, physical activity and human health.” Physiology & behavior 90.2-3 (2007): 229-235.

[4] Adan, Roger AH, et al. “Nutritional psychiatry: Towards improving mental health by what you eat.” European Neuropsychopharmacology 29.12 (2019): 1321-1332.

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Author

Diana Lucas

Diana Lucas

Hi, Diana here. Welcome to my blog and hope you like my sharing. I am a mother of 2 boys, 3 years old and a 1 year old. I dedicate my career in child development research and I focus on parenting tips, positive parenting, educational toys for my babies. Your time here means a lot to me! Diana A. Lucas
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