What is the goal of parenting?

What's Covered

The role of the parent is to prepare their child to become a great person. All parents want their children to be competent in everything they do and become caring adults who will function well in society. Amidst the many influences on child development, parents are the final pathway to the growth, stature, adaptation, and success of children. The most wishes of parents are to see their children living well and have a fruitful life.

Why should we set parenting goals?

Parenting is not easy, and it needs a lot of effort to learn to be a better parent. That is why we need to set goals to have a better guide to rear a child. We want to see our children be independent and happy. They can find their passion in life and live to the fullest. With that said, we should level up our parenting skills, and it will make us better parents.

What is parenting?

Parenting is a responsibility and commitment of parents to rear a child for the whole period. The parent should be responsible for providing all the needs for them to grow mentally and physically healthy. As a parent, you should willingly let go of other personal pleasures so that you can be with your children most of the time. Parents should embody the roles of being the best parent because they are the ones who nurture the character development and competence of their children.[1]

What are the objectives you want for your children?

Setting goals are very hard to accomplish if we do not know what to do. When setting goals, we should consider very clearly, what it is that we want to achieve. Parenting goals are hope about the children’s results as they grow. The best possible outcome for children’s development is a positive environment and supportive interactions with parents and caregivers.

Secure physical fitness and safety

As parents, we should think about the welfare of our children. We should protect them from injuries and physical maltreatment. We have to secure their survival and the ability to thrive in any situation. Young children rely only on the parents or the primary caregivers inside or outside of the home, which is we should act on behalf of them to protect them from being harmed. When the children receive adequate care, the more they will have better growth and physical development.

Capability to cope with emotions and actions.

Children tend to behave according to their emotions. Therefore, we must show our care and love to nurture their positive emotional health and well-being. That is why parents should provide guidance and support to their children to cope with the situation.

We have to provide them positive affirmations by giving them an appreciation for the best work done. Always show your love to them by supporting their needs. Make them feel more secured by communicating with them every day. Children who have good behavior tend to be good at interacting and communicating with other people outside. They will become active and happy children at school and capable of interacting well with their peers.

Capability to engage with others

Children tend to follow what they observe around them. Therefore, it is essential to be mindful of what actions we are going to show them. With this, they will grow up with good morale if they have a good environment. As a result, they will be successful at school, work, and family in the future.[2]

The ability to understand things around them

Learning how to understand things are the capability of children to carry out tasks and think logically. These skills are needed to flourish at school and other non-related to academics. Children much better to learn more things at home for the preparation for their future schooling. Parents must teach their children how to read and write. With these, they are well prepared for the school activities.

How do you raise successful children?

Now, you know what are you want to work on, it is time to set your parenting style on how you will help your child grow, develop, succeed, and overcome challenges. You should know the proper parenting skills so that you can perform your role well as a parent.

Good Parenting

Good parenting is a way of rearing your children into healthy and smart kids by continually teaching them good deeds and helping them develop a strong bond of communication skills between parent and children.

Most of the parents want to be the best parent ever. All parents want to raise their children to be healthy, confident, and happy. Nevertheless, there are no perfect parents. There are certain cases where we are not sure how to address a particular issue. We react to certain situations that might hurt or shame our child then regret it later. When this happens, it is frustrating and demoralizing. Therefore, it is necessary to learn what positive parenting is.[3]

Five core positive parenting principles

The well-being of children depends on the quality of life of the family. The warmth and a caring environment set up for children can contribute to their psychological, physical, and social ability. The positive parenting principles can bring success to your children that lead to happier, calmer family life.[4]

These values aim to help children achieve positive developmental and mental health outcomes.

Creating fun and healthy atmosphere

Children need a stable and healthy environment in which they can explore, experiment, and play. Here are some tips for maintaining a clean and enjoyable atmosphere.

  • Keep a clean and orderly environment at home.
  • Put learning tools for your child at home.
  • Appreciate your child’s work in different ways.
  • Turn a child’s mistakes into learning opportunities.
  • Interact with your child and create a connection by playing with them.
  • Give time for a child’s learnings such as reading educational books.

Creating a healthy learning atmosphere

Parents are the first and best teachers. They assist their children in learning to overcome problems on their own. When they see that they are attempting to communicate with them, they show an approachable smile. Use the Ask, Say, and Do method of parenting instruction. It aids in the gradual acquisition of skills by our children. Here are some things parents can do to help their children grow in a healthy setting.

  • Teach them self-control, cooperation, and perspective to others because these skills can help them form and sustain good relationships with their peers and adults.
  • To encourage the development and acquisition of social skills, develop a strong relationship with your children.
  • Do encourage your children to embrace culturally acceptable values and behaviors that will allow them to function as members of a social group.

Using assertive discipline

Parents should determine what is best for their children and then expect compliance. Parents must behave assertively, not aggressively, like shouting, threatening, or using physical punishment. Here are some ways to impose assertive discipline.

Advocating for assertive discipline

Parents should decide what is best for their children and then allow their children to follow their wishes. Parents must be assertive rather than violent, such as screaming, threatening, or physically punishing their children. It is a better idea to provide simple, calm, and age-appropriate guidance. With this, they will tend to follow you and will not get afraid of you.

Being rational with your goals

We should consider reasonable desires, assumptions, or values for our children when setting goals. Our chosen goals should be developmentally appropriate for both the child and us. Parents who have unreasonable expectations of their children’s abilities can be at risk of abusing them.

Taking care of oneself as a parent

Parents are encouraged to explore their emotional state how their mental state affects their parenting and child behavior. We should develop our specific coping strategies for managing difficult emotions such as anger, depression, anxiety, and parenting stress.

Parenting skills

On the first day your child was born, it is the start of your significant role as a parent. As parents, you should protect, nurture, and teach your children from the day they are born until they become independent people. Learning accurate and appropriate expectations for children’s behavior is one of the skills to rear young children well.[5]

Parenting styles

There are probably many questions asked about what should do to perform good parenting. New parents also get tips and advice from their parents and professionals, colleagues, and friends to rear a child. A challenge for new parents is to cultivate an effective parenting style within the first years of a child’s life, especially if they do not have sufficient knowledge. Research and study on effective parenting styles can help guide parents to have better parenting skills.[6]

Classification of parenting styles

Authoritarian parenting

Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style characterized by high levels of demand and low levels of responsiveness. This style often uses punishment rather than discipline. Parents who use this style have very high expectations from children yet provide very little attention and feedback. This style might be effective in certain situations but has negative consequences when overused. If you think you have done your way too much aggressively, try to incorporate an authoritative parenting style by having quality interaction with your children.

Authoritative parenting

Authoritative parenting is the integration of parental responsiveness and demandingness. This style provides more attention, care, love, and support to their children. Parents who use this style are flexible in giving their children considerable freedom yet impose reasonable restrictions that followed strictly. Parents who provide a democratic atmosphere at home are more likely to give their children a chance to share thoughts on important matters. This style can promote healthy relationships between parents and children that can lead to harmonious family life.[7]

Permissive parenting

Permissive parenting is high in responsiveness but low in control. Permissive parents are less actively involved with their children. But, they are more tolerant of their children’s impulsiveness, encourage children to make their own decisions without providing parameters, and imposing fewer restrictions. Children raised by this style may have difficulty respecting others, coping with disappointment, late realizing their passion or goal in life, and following through with their plans.

Negligence parenting

Negligence parenting is a parenting style that lacks both control and responsiveness. Negligent parents do not respond to their children’s basic needs such as food, clothing, and shelter. This style is non-harmonious and conflict that can lead to a child’s anger, confusion, frustration, and aggression. The root cause of abusive and offensive behavior in children is the lack of proper discipline and basic needs.[8]

How parenting style affects smartphone usage?

Parenting style is closely associated with smartphone addiction in children. That is why parents should be mindful of giving consent to using a smartphone. Therefore, it is necessary to examine the possible impact of smartphone usage on children.

Smartphones can have a positive role in parenting. It can help educate children to explore new things that may help develop their skills. However, parents should implement rules for mobile phone use on their children. Here are some examples of setting rules for using a mobile phone.

  • The phone must turn off during family meals.
  • Mobile phone uses only after a time you give consent.
  • A mobile phone is not allowed to use while having a conversation with family members.
  • Your children can use a smartphone during the day and early evening. However, the assignments should finish first.

Do parenting books help?

Parenting books are helpful for a first-time parent. These will give you an idea of how to be a better parent. It will guide you on what is best for your children.

The five best parenting books that every parent should read

1. This book is for parents who are struggling in dealing with the emotions of their children. This book will give information on how to handle kids throw tantrums, fight, or sulk in silence. It shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development in your children.

2. Most parents will love this book because it gives you information on how to speak your children’s love language in a way that they understand.

5 Love Languages of Children
This book will assist your child in successful learning. It gives you the confidence to communicate with your child knowing that they comprehend you.

3. The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids book is a much-needed resource for parents. It will help parents better understand their emotions as they can rear their children with empathy and clear communication. With these skills, parents can raise a self-disciplined child.

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
This book will assist your child in successful learning. It boosts your confidence to communicate with your child knowing that they comprehend you.

4. This book helps parents learn to step back and embrace the failures of their children. This book will enlighten you about the essence of giving your children a chance to experience defeat and the opportunity to learn to solve a problem.

The Gift of Failure
This book will help you understand the benefits of not being so overprotective of your children. Letting your children learn how to become independent can help them succeed in the future.

5. The Simplicity Parenting book aids you to recover the space and freedom that all children need for their attention skills to deepen and flourish. This book will inspire and give you ideas to raise a calmer, happier, and more secure child.

Simplicity Parenting
This book will help you streamlined your environment that makes your child focus on one thing at a time. It prevents your child from being anxious and having misbehavior problems.

6. Parent Up book gives you the confidence to raise your children in a way that works for your family. It also guides you to rear your kids through positive parenting and become an ultimate influencer to them.

Parent Up
This book filled with information that helps you raise your children to be confident, empathetic, accountable, and inspired to live their best lives.

What are the benefits of reading books for your children?

Reading books aloud to children helps them develop their listening and language skills, stimulates the imagination, and broadens their understanding of the world. Moreover, it creates a good bonding for you and your kids. Here some books that may help you fulfill your parenting goals.

1. The Invisible String is the perfect book for coping with separation anxiety, loss, and sadness. The compelling message in uncertain times nowadays that even though we may get separated from our loved ones, love is the eternal connection that binds us all.

The Invisible String
This book helps your kids understand and embrace the power of love, nighttime fears, and how to overcome loneliness. It develops your children's capability to comprehend certain situations that make them stronger.

2. This book inspires your innocent and hopeful children to welcome ideas that will help them achieve and nurture their dreams. It is a spectacular book for all ages that best to compile at home or school.

What Do You Do with an Idea?
This book helps your children learn to nurture their ideas. It will empower them to think more and become enthusiastic about achieving their dreams.

3. I Promise book is an inspiring book that helps your children realize their dreams and urge them to dream big.

I Promise
This book uplift your children to dream big and empowers them to be their best. Your kids will learn how to set their goals and be excited to cross the journey to achieve their dreams.

Smart Parenting Goals

Every family has parenting goals to set to ensure productive years for kids throughout their growth. We can only achieve all of these if we have the objective to follow. Here are some tips to help you target your parenting goals well.

Keep your promises

Mostly we are making promises to our kids to live up to their enthusiasm in doing their homework or doing household chores. We are promising to give rewards for the excellent work done. Even on our busiest days, we must keep our word. As a result, our kids would look up to us as their role models.

Spend quality time with the family

The usual problem nowadays is to have not sufficient time to spend with our kids. Because of the hectic schedules we have, we cannot attend their daily activities. Perhaps, you can allot your weekend days to spend more time with them. You can plan a weekend family getaway to strengthen the bonding with your kids. You can organize various activities to have a quality bonding with your family.

Share the responsibility with your partner.

Do not carry the loads on your own only. Try to share it with your partner. You can talk to your partner, what would be your setup in taking good care of your kids. With that, you can make child caring much simpler. Communication of both mother and father has a substantial impact on how to achieve the parenting goals successfully.

Find common interests

Look at the strengths and weaknesses of your kids. Try to find out what their hobbies, interests, or passion. If you have already seen it, you must support it and helps your children to nurture their talent. On the other hand, if your kids like to cook, allow them to help you in the kitchen.

Take a moment to cool down.

We cannot avoid certain moments that we are indeed mad or went through a situation that we are going to outburst with anger. If that happened, try to cool down first before interacting with your children, as there might be a tendency you can yell at them. We do not want to create baseless mistakes due to our emotions and regret them later. As much as possible, we do not attach our anger to caring for our children.

Establish a routine

It is good to establish a routine to strengthen the bond of parent and children relationship. You can set up rules like – during meals should eat altogether, watching movies every weekend, or every Sunday go to the church then go shopping. Besides, many other activities that you can organize to strengthen the family relationship.

Do not restrict your children.

Let your kids explore new things. Try them to meet new friends and engage with other peers. However, let them know that you are there to support and guide them. Let them learn by their mistakes, but you are always behind their back to lead them.

Respect, not fear

Do not afraid to discipline your kids. Try to correct them if you see that they are committing unpleasant actions. Do not let them do things that can harm them in the future. You can restrict them to a definite situation for them to correct what they did. However, do not forget not too overboard to implement discipline. Render a disciplinary action towards your kids, but you have to maintain your respect for your kids, as they will respect you otherwise.

Always support their passion.

If you see your child already found their passion, you must support and guide them to nurture their talent. Let them feel that you are always there to be their number one fan. You will be happy to see your children successfully achieve their dreams. One day, your children will do the same to their kids, too. You will be their inspiration to be a role model.

Tips on how to avoid your children being a spoiled brat

Nowadays, more children are growing up spoiled. They are the children who think of nothing but themselves. They often have tantrums when they do not get what they want. They are also often unable to cope with tough challenges because they are used to getting what they want. In addition, no parent wants his or her children to grow up like this. However, if you are careful with your parenting styles, this will not happen.

Do not give everything they want.

As your children grow up, especially in the toddler stage, they become harder to control. Their tantrums and meltdowns will also become more frequent. Sometimes, children tantrums because they need your attention or you do not give them what they want. Besides, they are the children who are hard to get along with because their habits are different. Moreover, they are those children when they grow up to find it hard to work for themselves.

Not all the time, you have enough patience and strength to handle these situations. As a result, you might give up and grant what they want. If you do this repeatedly, your children will grow up being spoiled brats.

You do not let them be dependent kids.

Time will come that your children will live on their own. Someday, they can have their own family or go through challenges that no one will help them. Gradually, teach your kids independence while they are young. Do not let them be dependent on you for the rest of their lives. We do not know that might the time comes we are not always beside them.

Do not give too much to their needs.

It is only natural that you give your child all his needs. Nevertheless, if you give him too often, he can get used to it and grow up spoiled. Let them work hard to get something. They must learn that if they want to get something, they have to work for it. You should teach them to be contented with what they have and be grateful for the things they have.

Do not tolerate their mistakes.

Sometimes misbehavior of our children is also due to our negligence. We just let them commit mistakes and do it repeatedly. We even side with them in the wrongdoing they made. When we continue to do this, the child grows up not knowing what is wrong with what is right. They feel they are always right in what they do. To avoid this situation, we need to correct them. If you think your child has done something wrong, rebuke them and tell them they did something wrong. However, do not ever humiliate them in front of the crowd. If you try to correct them, do it when no one around. We must teach them good manners, as they will grow up to be a good person.

Final Thoughts

Having parenting goals is for us to guide our children to grow up successful and competent. We must carefully choose what parenting style we should use. There are many books to read about parenting if you seek more ideas on how to raise your kids. However, do not just depend on the content of the books for the future of your children. We know what things are good for them. Try to watch shows related to parenting or join parenting organizations so that you have support in raising your children. Besides, we will not just think about how we can rear our children properly. We also need to take care of ourselves so that we can properly fulfill our role as parents. To the parents there and the future parents, do not immediately give up on the challenges of raising your children. I know and, you know that you are capable of being a great parent.

[1]   Bornstein, Marc H., ed. Handbook of parenting: volume 5: the practice of parenting. Routledge, 2019.

[2] Hart, Craig H., Lloyd D. Newell, and Susanne Frost Olsen. “Parenting skills and social-communicative competence in childhood.” (2003).

[3] Ahmann, Elizabeth. “Promoting positive parenting: An annotated bibliography.” Pediatric nursing 28.4 (2002): 382.

[4] Sanders, Matthew R. “Triple P–Positive Parenting Program: A population approach to promoting competent parenting.” Australian e-journal for the Advancement of Mental Health 2.3 (2003): 127-143.

[5] Stevens Jr, Joseph H. “Child development knowledge and parenting skills.” Family relations (1984): 237-244.

[6] Bornstein, Lea, and M. H. Bornstein. “Parenting styles and child social development.” Encyclopedia on early childhood development. Montreal: Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development and Strategic Knowledge Cluster on Early Child Development (2007).

[7] Nyarko, Kingsley. “The influence of authoritative parenting style on adolescents’ academic achievement.” American Journal of Social and Management Sciences 2.3 (2011): 278-282.

[8] Hussain, Manzoor, and Mohd Anzar Warr. “Parental negligence, improper parenting and enforcement of parents lead to child aggressiveness: A study.” (2019).

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Vivian Perry

Vivian Perry

Mother of 3 kids. Enjoy reading parenting books and studied child care degree. Vivian loves to learn and write about parenting tips and help her kids to grow positively with grit mindset.