Which Type of Parenting is Most Effective During Adolescence

What's Covered

Adolescence is the stage where the confusion of an individual begins. Parents are the real-life guardian angel of their children. As a guardian, how can you keep your adolescent child guided? Always remember that they are the gift from above. Nurturing and keeping them right on track is your responsibility as a parent, and that is for a lifetime. An adolescent child needs care and love. However, they also need proper handling, and that includes discipline. Letting your adolescent child do whatever she wants will destroy her life. Learning how to handle your adolescent child is a big plus.

 Types of Parenting

      Different types of parenting would surely help you to guide your adolescent child. Being a good parent means proving your children the best parenting style that suits their behavior and situation. That is why being aware of the parenting styles is important.[1]

Here are the types of parenting that would surely help you with your growing adolescent child:

1. Permissive Parenting

Permissive Parents never obliges their child to comply with the rules that they set.

They usually have no consequences when their child has done something wrong. They did not interfere that much, for that they believe it is the best thing to make their child learn and develop their skills. Children who grow up with permissive parents are usually struggling in their academics.

It encourages their adolescent child to be more transparent, especially when there is something that bothers them. They allow their children to be more expressive with their feelings and didn’t give so much attention to correcting the unpleasant behavior and wrong principles. Unfortunately, that would be the cause of an issue regarding the behavior of a child.

Permissive Parents are considerate and have an eye for every need of their child. They tend to more soft and caring. This approach usually uses in toddlers who need extra care and love. A permissive parent is respectable as it binds their relationship with the child through friendship.

2. Uninvolved Parenting

This parenting style helps your child to be more independent. It allows your child to be more adventurous and discover things all by themselves. Parents in this type of parenting tend to be unavailable for the needs of their children. They are often out somewhere, busy and doing something more important for them.

Unfortunately, children who have uninvolved parents have usually suffered depression. They also communicate with their parents rarely since they have no emotional engagement together. Parents in this type of parenting have no idea about their whereabouts, friends, and feelings. All they only know is what they believe. However, there is also an uninvolved parent who is unintentionally neglecting their child because of some reason.

Parents in this kind of situation are commonly mentally ill or too busy to make a living. But an adolescent child cannot handle their emotion very well, so they sometimes become rebellious. This approach is commonly not advisable for the parents.

3. Authoritarian Parenting

 This parenting style helps the parents control the life of their child. They can easily manipulate the situation based on their decision. All they have here is an obedient child that is always ready to accept their orders, whether they like it or not. Authoritarian parents have no time to explain all the rules that they implemented. They only need obedience, not a question. This parenting style is famous.

The child has no freedom to explain their side. They are not allowed to make their step. Everything should be under consultation with their parents. Unfortunately, a child who has an authoritarian parent has a higher chance to suffer from depression. They will feel insignificant as well as their opinions. Moreover, they have no chance and right to open-up their feelings.

Authoritarian parenting does not believe in discipline but punishment. That is why the child who has a parent like this is a good liar. The child has no choice but to fabricate a story to avoid being punished. However, authoritarian parenting has a good outcome sometimes. Because through this approach, they can easily lead their child into the right path.

4. Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is a little bit hard yet challenging. Parents with this style allow and bestow to their children the freedom that they deserve but with limitations. They did not make any reason to make their child wonder. But instead, they want their child to be more expressive as well as they are to their child. Authoritative parents are empathetic, and everything in here is well balanced.

The happiest child is usually inside the home with authoritative parents. They tend to grow with a healthy mentality, socially active, and achievers. Furthermore, children with this style of parenting are full of positivity. These kinds of children are those who have big hopes and faith. They believe in the importance of abiding by the law and being a good human being.

This parenting style can highly recommend for the parent around the globe. It gives you a hint on how to handle your child and mold them to become a good citizen someday. The hands-on, loving, and caring parents are the ones who usually use this authoritative parenting.

The Most Effective Parenting for Adolescence

Every race, culture, and nation has a different way on how to handle a child. However, as a parent, it is your responsibility to secure that you’re providing your child the best quality of parenting. That is very important, especially to those who have an adolescent child. This stage is where your child starts to explore, discover, and develop their being. In other words, this is the most crucial part.

The adolescent stage might be a little confusing and frustrating for a child. They will be starting to seek their purpose in life. They are not genuinely happy since they are full of fear and doubt for the future. All they need at this time is a parent who can understand their feeling and at the same time who can guide them properly. Furthermore, parents should search for the best way on how to help their child in every way.

Authoritative parenting is the style of parenting that is suited for the needs of your adolescent child. That is all because this type of parenting can ask for high demand and provide superb handling and responsiveness. The authoritative parents are good role models for their children.

Your adolescent child deserves freedom and discipline, and only authoritative parents can manage that. They also want to showcase their knowledge, that they are trustworthy and capable. Meaning to say, they want to become a little independent. All they need is guidance. Once you try to control their life, they will make a way to get rid of that manipulation. That will surely make them rebellious.

An author named Tara Egan D.Ed said that being an adolescent may be a little bit hard for your child. However, you can still help them to get through it.  Making sure that you are maintaining your relationship at the same time is guiding them in a right path is the basic goal of the parent. Making sure that you are maintaining your relationship at the same time is guiding them on the right path is the basic goal of the parent.Being aware of their errands and whereabouts is important. Since childhood to puberty, we want to witness them in every milestone that they take as a human. The book, Adolescence: A Parent’s Guide will help you to mold your adolescent child.  [2]

A perfect book on how to deal with your adolescent child

How to discipline an Adolescent

A child without discipline is a nightmare. Parents usually suffer when they fail to take any action on the behavior of their child. Discipline does not mean you are showing less compassion with your child, but it only means that you love them in a way that you don’t want them to grow without good conduct. An adolescent stage is the start of puberty or change. The more they grow, the more that you have a hard time controlling them. So that discipline is important.

When you are promoting goodness, you should also be a good example. Never let your actions look confusing. You better give them the explanation and illustration that they deserve. However, disciplinary actions may contain a different effect on your adolescent child. So here is the question, how can you discipline your child while maintaining your good relationship with them?

Communication, that is the best option that you can use when you want to discipline your child. You need to communicate with them and be aware of their feelings. In that way, you will know what kind of approach you’ll be going to do. Making them feel that they are authorized to showcase their emotions, opinions, and perceptions is the best way to understand them.

Punishment is different from discipline. Never make your adolescent child feel that they are suffering just because they failed to obey your orders. Because if that happens, you are not doing discipline but, it is punishment. Furthermore, punishment will possibly cause a wave of anger and stress to your adolescent child. That would surely make them mentally and emotionally unhealthy.

Create a great bond with your child, be friends with them. Understand that they are on the stage of seeking their inner being and their purpose. It is the time that they will feel weird with all the changes that their body do. Puberty is confusing for the adolescent child. But as a parent, you should have a long-range of patience and understanding. Accepting that they are no longer a kid would be a help.

Giving them a piece of advice on how to improve themselves would also be a good idea. When your adolescent child commits a mistake, educate them. Never insult and hurt their feelings, for that would only lead to rebellion. That will be the start of hiding their agendas from you because they are afraid to be scolded and insulted.

Discipline means love. Let them know that you are doing this because you don’t want them to be on the wrong path someday. That all you want for them is to be a successful individual in the future. Show them that you care for them, that those rules are all for them and their own sake. Be the most understanding, caring, and loving parents. But at the same time, you are also willing to correct all the wrongdoings of your adolescent child.

What are the types of discipline?

Every parent has a different way on how to raise their child. Some parents raise their children the way how their parents raised them. But also, some of the parents are using their culture and family philosophies as a basis. There are different types of discipline that are useful and can use a reference. Moreover, every type of discipline is perfect in a different situation.

Emotion Coaching

This style of discipline can help your adolescent child express and show their emotion. The adolescence stage is full of confusion, and they feel awkward about their changes. Sometimes, talking about a thing regarding their changes as an adolescent makes them feel irritated. They are usually not comfortable with it.

However, through emotion coaching, you can help them to overcome things that stress them. This kind of discipline requires deep empathy. As a parent, you should make your child feel that everything is normal and nothing wrong with her. In that way, they will feel unoccupied with their perplexity. Instead of being mad, reach them out and know their feelings. Do not invalidate their feelings but instead, make them feel that they are authorized to speak up.

Helping them to identify their emotion is the first step. In that way, you can help them to talk about it. After the great talk, try to give them a piece of advice on how to overcome it. When the time comes that your adolescent child is finally expressing their feeling, always say a positive word. Moreover, to make it easier for your child to become expressive, you should also do the same thing. Be a good role-model. At last, never stop cultivating their feelings and always keep them reminded.

Gentle Discipline

 This style of discipline didn’t use corporal punishment to educate the adolescent. However, they didn’t tolerate the wrongdoings of their child. The gentle discipline style shows a huge belief in respect. Parents in this style are good at creating other platforms to give their children a chance to change because they believe in their children. They want to discipline their child but, at the same time, is learning.

Gentle discipline always shows the importance of being wise. An adolescent child is indecisive. This way of discipline will surely make your child mature and understand things, that is all because of their parent’s effort.

Behavior Modification

 Behavior modification helps the child to create a positive perception. Parents would be love to encourage their children to make righteous decisions. However, some of these kinds of parents usually ignore the bad characteristics of their child. But sometimes, they give their child negative consequences for their negative attitude. They will modify the behavior of their child without giving any corporal punishment. In fact, they will let their child realized their own mistake.

Positive Parenting

 This parenting discipline shows the importance of communication between the child and the parent.  Parents want their children to understand the significance of life. They will nurture their child through the words of wisdom, and they will not tolerate the wrongdoings and make them understand and realize what is wrong with them. This disciplinary action can raise a happy and wonderful child. [3]

Positive Discipline
A perfect book on how to discipline your adolescent child

A positive parenting goal is to help the child grow with respect and discipline. Know to follow the rules not because they are obliged but because it is the best thing to make.  Through this parenting technique, parents can help their child develop self-discipline. Moreover, it also helps to maintain the relationship between the parent and the child.

 How to develop a self-discipline to your adolescent child?

As an adolescent, they need to have their own self-discipline. It will stand as the foundation that creates their perception and lead them to develop a positive decision. They will need it to become a good citizen in the future. However, an adolescent child should also learn how to listen to the opinion of someone. What would be the best steps to help the adolescent child develop their self-discipline?

Make some rules

Never let your children think that they can do whatever they want without any consequences.  Make them know that they are accountable for every decision that they will be going to make. Let them know that you can listen to all their rants, and they should also need to listen to yours. Set some rules that they need to follow and also the consequences when they fail to obey them. However, embarrassing them in front of other people or on themself is not helpful. Remember that they all have their own mind and capacity to balance the difference between right and wrong.

Communication is connection

Building your relationship with your child is also building their trust and loyalty. Making them feel that you’re their one call away friend would be a big help. Through this, you can finally have a connection with them. With that connection, you can also help them understand the importance of having good insight as an adolescent child. Moreover, punishment can never make your relationship with your child connected. Positively correcting your child would be a big help.

Show compassion and reformation

Encouraging your child to change and improve their behavior in a positive way is delightful. Being nice does not mean tolerating the wrongdoings of your child. An adolescent child can already understand a thing, and when they finally realize it, they will feel guilty about it. That would be a serve their conscience. [4]

Me and My Feelings
This book will help you how to control the emotion

Don’t make them upset

As a parent, you should consider the feelings of your child. The adolescents are sensitive, and they don’t easily take harsh comments about their actions. . Since they were still starting to establish their personality, they are still discovering. When they feel insulted because of their wrong action, doubts will come into the picture. They will have a lot of hesitation about their decision, and that would make them indecisive.

Give the consequences that they deserve

What are the consequences does the adolescent child deserve? Does it mean that you’ll make them suffer? No. Hand them the pay-off of their action which they can learn, not threaten. Let them know that what they do is wrong, but not that they have no right to express their being. Since they are still young, let them commit some mistakes, but never forget to guide them to the right way.

Be logical

Adolescents are hard to understand. However, there are ways to make them understand the importance of self-discipline. Make them responsible by saying that you’ll get their gadgets or any other important things to them. Such as cellphones, laptops, or they are not allowed to go out when they do not follow your rules. But of course, you need to explain why you are doing it. In that way, they will develop their self-discipline on their own.

Look at the good side

Your adolescent child might frequently be committing a mistake, but never count it on. He is better than his shortcomings. Instead of focusing on their mistake, encourage him to do better. As long as they feel trusted, they will grow and glow like a flower in a garden. However, discussing his mistake and advising him how to correct it is a good idea.

 Final Thoughts

Being a parent does not end with providing the material need of your child. An adolescent may normally struggle and fail. But as a parent, never let your child face their emotional battles alone. Be their most understanding go-to person in this world that full of judgmental people.

[1] Robbie H. Harris. It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health. (2014)

[2]  Tara Egan D.Ed. “Adolescence: A Parent’s Guide.”

[3]  Jane Nelsen & Lynn Lott. “Positive Discipline for Teenagers” (2012)

[4] NBCT Vanessa Green Allen, M.Ed. Me and Myself: A Kid’s Guide To Understanding and Expressing Themselves. (2019)

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Diana Lucas

Diana Lucas

Hi, Diana here. Welcome to my blog and hope you like my sharing. I am a mother of 2 boys, 3 years old and a 1 year old. I dedicate my career in child development research and I focus on parenting tips, positive parenting, educational toys for my babies. Your time here means a lot to me! Diana A. Lucas