Why being a strict parent is bad? [How you can own it]

What's Covered

Raising your children is quite a challenging task. Raising them is like building a home. You need to make sure that all the materials must be measured accurately. Every detail must be thought carefully for you to have a strong and beautiful home. In raising them, you need to make sure that all your decisions are measured. Why? Being a parent, you don’t have to be strict because that is too much, or either giving them all the freedom they want. You must be in the middle, not so authoritarian, and not so neglectful to them.

Does being a strict parent is only having bad effects?

We all know every decision in our life has a different effect. It’s either good or bad. As a parent, you always want to give all the best and want your children to grow strong and have a better life. Parents have their different style and techniques in raising their children. Everyone has their unique way of doing so. So, are we considered that being a strict parent is only having bad effects?

Maybe a lot of you think that being a strict parent only ends with adverse effects but try to look at the other side. Perhaps there are some excellent effects also. Only you and your children will answer that. Children grow up and go through different development stages; therefore, and parents use various parenting strategies. [1] So, we will talk about one of those strategies, and let’s find out the possible good and inadequate impact of being a strict parent.

“The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behavior, the sign of truly great parenting is the parents’ behavior.”- Andy Smithson

What are the pros and cons of strict parenting?

Here is a list of the advantages of being a strict parent. This list will only show that there are also some good effects of being a strict parent.

List of the Pros or Advantages of being a strict parent.

  • The children push themselves to do better

Having a strict parent-children strives to become a better person. They always do their best to become first and still stay on the top. Why? Because they are afraid to become a disappointment to their parents, which leads them to nag them and make them feel worthless.

  • The children become successful

Because striving to become a better person, a child with a strict parent tends to become more successful. Because they are focus on their goals in life. They think first about their future and never get distracted from the many distractions they encounter while growing up. They are developed to become goal-oriented. Parental involvement in childhood can increase a child’s academic success (Landers, Friedrick, Jawad & Miller, 2016) [2]

  • There are no distractions outside

The children with a strict parent who rule all over the house. There is a big possible lesser time in going outside and using social media platforms. We are all aware of the danger of social media, especially in children to adolescent age. They think that everything in social media is right. That may cause harm to them, mental illnesses, or worse, death.

  • Children will know that their parents care for them

One of the main reasons parents are strict with their children is wanting them to show love and care for them. That is why they were strictly raising them. Parents wish to, but sometimes their children think that their strict parents do not love them because they cannot trust them.

  • Children always are motivated to please their parents

In that way, children will always make good for their parents to be proud of them. It will be an excellent practice for them, especially when working because their parents are like their boss. They are trained to be motivated to prove they are worth it with the job. But parents always remember how small or big your children’s achievement praise them for keeping them motivated.

List of the Cons or Dis-advantages of being a strict parent

Here is a list of the disadvantages of being a strict parent. This list will only show that there are also some adverse effects of being a strict parent. You will see that there are more disadvantages rather than advantages of being a strict parent.

  • Lies and White Lies

Children who had a strict parent tend to lies why. They do their best to cover their lies because they are afraid. Afraid to become disappointment and worthless in their parents’ eyes, they don’t want their parents to be mad at them. Being mad sometimes leads to saying words without thinking if you hurt them with those words. You can correct it by talking to them, listening to their problems, understanding them, and giving them advice that telling lies is never good. How small or big it is. According to Broomfield and Robinsons, numerous young children are more likely, to be honest to others than to tell lies to protect their feelings. [3] They want to be honest, but still, it tends to become little white lies that worsen over time because of the fear. The fear of to resentful and embarrass. Remember, it will happen if you have the wrong way of disciplining them.

  • Behavioral problem

Some children with strict parents tend to have behavioral problems. The pain and emotion they hide in their hearts for an extended period tends to become a behavioral problem. It is developed by the way how parents discipline them. When we talk about strict parenting, we are all aware that this is full of authorization. If the parent disciplines their children in too much way, the children tend to do bad things. As a parent, if you discipline your children, tell them what they did wrong and try to make them understand that you punish them because they do wrong things. There are a lot of factors considering to have behavioral problems. This book is recommended for parents to understand the possible cause of behavioral issues to their children.

  • Children have a higher rate of depression

Stricly parenting is most commonly with a wealthy family. But as years passed by, the suicide rate is getting higher because of depression. You are strict. You don’t want them to go outside, make some friends and at the same time you are busy and don’t give them time when you are home. As a parent, you will feel or notice any problems in terms of your children. But if you are busy doing the job for their future or should I say for you have plenty of money. Suppose you don’t want them to socialize to make friends outside. So be their friends inside your home. A friend who will listen to their problems and guide them to make a decision right. A simple question can be a simple depression, and that depression can be a cause of death. Money never comes back to someone’s life. The cultural factors in Chinese women impact parenting patterns and their connection with the cause of Major Depression. [4]

  • No social life

Because they feel like prisoners, they become wild when they go outside. Yes, they can go out but with time limitations. They are not enjoying their teenage years, and they cannot make friends. Strict parents who doest allow their children to have social life stole some critical part of their children’s life. Sometimes you need to give them some time to enjoy, to find friends. In that way, you make them happy. You allow them to experience every teenager’s dreams. When you make their world small, they will be afraid to stand up on their own. Just teach them to be responsible for every decision they make. Say to them that you trust them. They can explore and discover things, but they should always remember their limitations. Let your child has the most fantastic time of their life- adolescence.

  • Children are more likely to become dependent on their parents.

When your children build their own family, they must be independent, but sometimes, they become dependent on their parents. It is one of the reasons why relationships destroy. There is nothing terrible to become Mama’s Boy, Mama’s Girl, or Daddy’s Boy and Daddy’s Girl as long as you can build, you can feed your own family in your way. Also, when we talk about death. Not everyone is afraid of death, but parents are worried because they don’t want to leave their children. If you raised your children in a strict parenting way, it would be more dependent on you. Do you think when the day that comes you will go, what will happen to them? You raised them dependent on you how they live without you. Sometimes we need to think of possible worse to happen to prevent it from happening.

  • Children have no chance to grow as an individual

As we grow old, we learn from our mistakes and experiences. Those children with strict parents don’t have any chance to grow as an individual. Their moves are limited, and they are afraid to commit any mistakes. Children need to stand on their feet. It is like teaching them to walk when they are little ones. All you need to do is to guide them until they can walk on their own. Parents still a parent we never erase that, but you also need to accept that your children need to grow independently. Let them fall and make them stand on their own for them to learn to be independent and strong. Many challenges can be possible they encountered as a parent. It is your role to build and make them vital to surpass those problems.

  • Children become rebellion

Children’s lives with strict parents have a big chance of becoming rebellious, especially at adolescent age. That age is the start of exploring, or we all know the curiosity days. When they go to school, they saw students’ different lives, and sometimes they compared themselves with them. In this case, this is the chance to meet friends who can influence them both in a good or bad way. A good friend that let your children understand the situation. And those bad friends who will impulse your children to do bad things. Parents who have children at adolescence age let them explore and discover the real world you can join them to guide them. Remember, let them fix their own mistake. All you need to do is to recommend them to eliminate those mistakes.

There are more advantages and disadvantages of having a strict parent you will find out in yourself. But there are a lot of children around the globe with a different perspective on life. They had different beliefs. Some of them understand their parents, and some of them are not. There are different kinds of parents, and there are no perfect parents at all. Even they had dozens of children still they cannot be perfect in raising them. As children try to understand your parents, open your mind maybe they are strict because no parents wanted their children to suffer at the end.

If you are a child with a strict parent, try to adapt to the pros of being a strict parent when you become a parent and try to make the disadvantages as advantages. You will learn from your experience. And those experiences will become the lessons that you will use in your own future family. And to all parents out there, if you had a strict parent, do not apply the same method to your children if all you want is for them to feel what you feel. That is not the right way of parenting. You only do that to take revenge. We often ignore the issue of parenting in our world and society. Still, the fact is that appreciating the concept of parenting is the primary step in connection with being a good parent.[5] This is recommended book for all parents out there for you to know how to show love and explain limitations in your children.

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Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits
This book will give you some tips to raise your child in the middle way as they will encounter different challenges while growing them such as the children's demands and tantrums. In this book, they will learn how to discipline their children without hurting their feelings.

The Possible Reason Why Parents Are Strict

  • TRUST

It is not about the parent’s trust in their children; it’s about others’ trust. Parents are afraid of something terrible happen to their children. The crime rate is getting higher in different parts of the world. Kidnapping, Murder, and Rape also happened even if you are with your friends. That is why they become strict with their children because they care for them. They do it for their children’s sake, but sometimes children saw it on the other side. That causes children to sulk at their parents. They think that parents do it for no reason. Children always remember that your parents trust you sometimes, they did not show it, but they do because trust is a gift of love. These are some recommended books for you to read on to know more about parent’s trust.

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The connected parent
This book has many topics that are close to every parent's own and personal experiences. That will help everyone who reads this just by understanding the real cause and make some solution of it based on the topics that are same with the readers
.

  • COMPARISON

In this world, let accept the fact that when someone becomes successful, we want to do what they do. Amigos and Amigas, you ask their techniques on how they raise their children, and if you know, you will also apply it the way you raise your child. In that case, you will push your children to do more to be better. You want your children always on top and to be competitive in a different aspect. These are some of the positive effects of being a strict parent. You choose to do authoritarian parenting for your children’s in order to become successful in their future.

  • CULTURE AND RELIGION

There is a lot of culture and religion around this globe. This factor contributes to parents become strict, especially for their girl children. There are religions and culture want marriage first before sex. There is a lot of issue of premarital sex and teenage pregnancy. Parents are strict with their children because nowadays, culture and religious beliefs are ignored by this present generation. They want to explore even if they cross some boundaries. They are pressured by the people surrounding them. The parent chooses to be strict to restore and maintain their beliefs in their culture and religions. Nevertheless, it is for their children’s sake.

  • EXPERIENCE

Parents who experience having a strict parent may also become strict parents if they see a strict parent’s right way. Suppose they appreciate all the advice and sermons from their parents that leads them to become successful. Understand the possible reason why their parents are strict with them. Because of that, when they build their own family, they also become a strict parent. Strict parenting is fortunate to them, so they think what comes around will go around. But like I always said, not all parents who experience authoritarian parenting are happy. Sad to say, it leads them to become a strict parent to their children because they want to feel what they feel when they are young. Not all parents do this except some.

  • LOVE

No matter what, that is one of the main reasons why parents become strict with their children is because of love. They love their children, and they care for them. There are no things parents will do to burdening their children. Maybe it’s too much, but they had their reason behind it as children try to understand your parents because they are strict with you. After all, they loved you. If you feel sometimes they are overprotective, talk to them say what you think. Ask them to give you some space to grow on your own respectfully. They will listen to you try to make your parents your best friends. Because at the end of the day, thru ups and down in your life, they are the ones who will stay by your side and accept you from who you are.

Parents never felt guilty when you think you become a strict parent as long as you have an excellent motive in doing that. But always make sure to balance everything gave time, love, respect, and trust.

Final Thoughts

            As we can see, there is the good and bad effect of being a strict parent. But always be sure to balance all your decision. We can be strict parents or not, but you need to make them understand you are just doing that because you loved them. You want them to have a better future, and you trust them. Communication is the most excellent key for you to understand each other as a parent accept that sometimes you commit mistakes, apologies and if they want you to listen to them, then listen. To have is to give.


[1] Jadon, Priyansha Singh, and Shraddha Tripathi. “Effect of authoritarian parenting style on self esteem of the child: A systematic review.” International Journal of Advance Research and Innovative Ideas in Education 3.3 (2017): 909-913.

[2] Colmone, Sabrina, and Kathleen Greenberg. “Parental Influence: Potential long-term effects of strict parenting.” (2017).

[3] Broomfield, Kimberley Anne, Elizabeth J. Robinson, and W. Peter Robinson. “Children’s understanding about white lies.” British Journal of Developmental Psychology 20.1 (2002): 47-65.

[4] Gao, J., et al. “Perceived parenting and risk for major depression in Chinese women.” Psychological medicine 42.5 (2012): 921-930.

[5] Huque, Tasnuva. “Understanding parenting.” (2019).

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Author

Diana Lucas

Diana Lucas

Hi, Diana here. Welcome to my blog and hope you like my sharing. I am a mother of 2 boys, 3 years old and a 1 year old. I dedicate my career in child development research and I focus on parenting tips, positive parenting, educational toys for my babies. Your time here means a lot to me! Diana A. Lucas

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