How can Parenting change and affect a 3-year-old child’s behavior? As everyone knows, we consider parenting being the most laborious task a parent can have.
Parents did not study how to become parents. It carries so much to become a parent and giving them the best you could be draining and frustrating. Some parents succeed in parenting their child, some find it uphill. Parenting is not a math problem to solve either a science project to experiment, perhaps, parenting is more like an English essay. Better to analyze to understand.
So, here are the tips we can basically apply.
Start a Potty Training
Our babies give us a message through their actions and emotions. When they cry, we give them food. When they feel tired, we dance them to sleep. If they pee or most often poo, we change their diapers. Let us first focus on the last one. It is a substantial part of parenting. Potty-trainings can help our child become organized. On the first try, you probably get a “NO, NO, NO” as an answer. Most often we get not just a simple no but a cry or a shout or hysterical reaction from them. Keep your temper calm as this is just a normal reaction of a toddler implies. Continue to try offering. Show them it is fun and without even noticing, they already imitate what you are doing.
Buy them Potty Training Toilet
Children get scared when trying new things. Potty training can be one of them. It excites you, but not your child. In the early stage, most especially at three, we can purchase and provide them their potty training toilet. Which gives them a real life-like flushing sound when you press the flush button. They might find it more exciting and easy to use because it has a back tank lock in place that fits full-size wet wipes. Easy to pull and designed to help your little one comfortably transition into an adult size toilet. Also, they might find it more comfortable. And they even enjoy potty training because it fits them perfectly. By this, they can easily adjust when they train in the restroom.
Introduce Potty Training in the Restroom
Although potty training in their training toilet is fun, we must not forget to show how exciting it is to use the bathroom. From time to time, try changing their diapers inside the toilet and show them how to do some stuff such as pulling down their own pants, removing their own diaper, or even showing them how exciting to flush the toilet could be. You cannot expect your child to get in it for a one-day-training but they will definitely give in and will try to do it on their own.
Show interest in their potty training
A child shows interest when you also show how interested you are to teach them. Potty training encompasses not only teaching new skills to your child but also unlearning behaviors they thought they already had down pat. There’s no getting around it. Potty training is a huge undertaking for both kids and parents alike.
You are like a mirror. What they see in you is what they follow. After all, we consider it to be everyone’s individual needs. You surely heard of a tremendous story from other parents, and you just simply want to avoid your child from experiencing that kind of situation. You are making it easy and are making everything right.
Deal with Temper Tantrums Calmly
Dealing with tantrums can be stressful to a parent, especially when dealing with a 3-year-old child. And how can parenting get involved in dealing with temper tantrums? When a child feels stress normally, the tendency is to throw a tantrum. They put on a show to express their feelings. They feel more superior and abstract. Sometimes the best way to deal with tantrums is to ignore them, but there some tips we can do to deal with them calmly and effectively.
Give Your Child a Positive Attention
One moment you and your child exchange happy and jolly faces. You may even play and watch their favorite cartoon and without even noticing they started throwing out this behavioral disorder. When a child throws a tantrum, the tendency is they fall to the ground; they cry a lot; they turn away from you even worst they become hysterical and absurd. Instead of scolding them or reacting violently, try to give them praises for the things they did. Try giving them a positive reaction. This helps in calming their tantrums.
Keep Your Child Away From Reachable Objects
There are children who become violent even at an early age such as three. They bring danger in hurting themselves and other people around them when tantrums arise. In the situations like this, things must be out of your child’s sight and must bring them to a quiet place to calm them down. Often they try to hurt themselves when they wanted to have something and get a “NO” as an answer. It triggers them to have that tantrum. Bring them to a safe place and hug them tight to ease their temper.
Distract Your Child with a New Activity
When they are throwing tantrums and you find it hard to calm and relax them. Practice breathing deep and stay close to them. This will give them a hint to imitate your actions and help to calm them immediately.
After a while, you can ask them if they like to play with their favorite hot wheels toy car set, which has a feeder ramp that excites them and fuels story-telling time that could distract their attention. It also has its challenging intersections, hairpin turns, motorized boosters, and a huge crash zone that gives them excitement for continuous racing action. Or simply offer them to make an apple juice, bake cookies, and you’ll see that eventually, they forgot about their tantrums. Distracting them from the things that trigger their temper could always give a positive outcome in dealing with it.
Have Enough Patience
To handle this kind of child behavior requires patience and holding onto your emotion is one of the best and most effective ways. Try to negotiate and ask what they’re feeling. Find something they love. Do something that makes them happy. But not all parents can handle such distress.
Some parents find them overreacting, being exasperating, and annoying. Most often we forgot how to become a parent when they throw a tantrum and could lose all your patience. Often forgot how fragile their feelings could be. And parenting requires so much of this. Parenting a 3-year-old child who throws temper tantrums is not as easy as one, two, three. Parenting requires so much patience for you to understand your child.
Explain the Consequences of their Action
Always remember that a 3-year-old child is a 3-year-old child. You cannot expect a 3-year-old child to stop crying right after you scold them or shout at them and say stop crying. Keep yourself calm, breathe out the anger and the stress you are feeling, and start confronting your child about what made you feel upset about their behavior. Be authoritative and explain to them what would it be if they continue having temper tantrums.
Explain to them what are the consequences of having this tantrum? They may not understand everything, but a child knows how to listen. Try to understand them because that is what a parent should do. Later on, you will understand what they really want. What they really need. And parenting a child who often has temper tantrums is effective with the use of proper understanding.
Listen to their Action
Most often a 3-year-old child cannot speak properly as they are just starting their intellectual development. We sometimes do not understand what they mimic or what they wanted to say. Children at three send us a message through their actions. They’re just pointing out everything they need and want, though there are kids who developed their intellectual aspect at an early age. It is very essential to listen to them to make them feel valued. You are not their brother or their sister to just ignore them and shout at them. You are their parent and you must be the first one to listen to them.
Listen to them so they will listen to you
As a parent, when you feel upset, all you ever wanted is someone who can listen to you. When you feel down, you wanted to have a shoulder to lean on. When you feel sad, the pillow is your companion. The same with our children. What they want is a parent who will listen to them. Someone who will listen to their actions. The process does not differ from our children. They too can help themselves when they have a listening ear and an empathetic response. But the language of empathy does not come naturally to us. It is not part of our “mother tongue”. Most of us grew up having feelings denied.
You probably would understand their frustrations. Make them feel valuable. You’ll sense after a while what is helpful to your individual child and what isn’t. With practice, you’ll soon discover what irritates and what comforts; what creates distance and what invites intimacy; what wounds and what heals. There is no substitute for your sensitivity. To best describe it, a child needs a parent who uses their ears to listen and their eyes wide open to see what they really need to see. A parent who understands and a parent who comprise anger to love.
Be Open and Communicate
When you ask them to go to sleep and they continue playing and giving them a punishment doesn’t help in changing their behavior but they learn a valuable life lesson. A child will not listen, especially when you force her into your will, rather you should ask them why they want to continue playing. When they say they are not feeling tired at all, simply tell them the consequence of not sleeping during nap time. That they could not go outside when they wake up or they will not get enough playtime in the afternoon.
As much as parents know how to listen, the children will also choose to listen. After all, a child doesn’t follow your will, they follow your actions. That is the reason you listen to the most important to their action. A child at three still wants to have your eye focused on them all the time. When they say there is a monster, you probably ask what the monster looks like. It is not really a monster they are talking about, maybe it is just a shadow of a tree they saw outside the window or simply just the sound of your old air-conditioner. At a very young age such as 3-year-old what they totally want is to get your attention.
Give Them Reward for their Good Behaviour
Every child wants to get praised for their good deeds. They love getting a reward after behaving properly or doing things you asked them to do. This is one way of appreciating them. They gave you flowers they picked by the street, thank them. They helped you stir the pasta, congratulate them.
Just like adults, children want to get recognized for their good behavior. When you go to work and your boss notices how good your performance is, they reward you by being giving you an increase in your salary. Sometimes you even got promoted. All these things do not differ from our children. This one way of letting them feel you listen to their actions. You praise them and reward them. And these aspects triggers them to do better and behave properly all the time.
Be Affectionate to your Child
Parents who do not show warmth and affection to each other can bring a great impact on their children. Remember, what they see in you is what they follow. Showing affection to your child at an early age before the teenage stage may give you a close relationship and will give you nothing to worry about when they individuated and develop their own identity.
Show Affection While Disciplining Your Child
A simple “NO” will not affect their feelings for you rather teach them something. Children ages 1-3 are often those who needed their parents’ affection. Most often 3-year-old child only understands you in their own perspective. When they did something wrong, give them a tap on their shoulder while talking about what did they do wrong. Offer a hug after your conversation to ensure them you still love them even if you are not pleased with what they did. Explain why hugs make you feel better after an argumentative conversation. Always remember that they will change as they grow older.
Make Hug as an Expression of Warmth
A hug could mean a lot of things to them. The more affectionate we are to our children, the more they get close to us. The more trust they give to us. Give them something to learn. Something they can bring when they grow up. What you give to your child always leaves something to them, most often good, sometimes bad. Make hugging part of your daily routine. Always remind them that a hug is a fundamental part of being one as a family.
Make saying Good Morning and Good Night a Habit
You want to wake up your child with a good morning that puts a smile on their face. Make it a habit. A child as young as 3-years-old often feels loved by simple gestures. Always greet them with a smile and kiss them goodnight. It can contribute to your child’s emotional development. When you greet them with a smile every morning, this makes their day whole. It makes them feel to start their day with a positive vibe they get from you. Make saying goodnight a routine because it can help them feel good before going to sleep. This shows affection, even in a simple way.
Use Both Ways to Convey Affection – Physical and Verbal
Parents everywhere can express their warmth and affection in two ways, physically and verbally. Physical affection may be shown, for example, by such behaviors are kissing, hugging, fondling, and caressing. Verbal affection may be shown by complimenting children, saying nice things about them, and so forth. All are forms of behavior that cumulatively and individually are likely to induce children to feel loved or accepted. Some children never experience any of these things, and that is part of the rejection process where parents often dislike, disapprove of, or resent their children, or feel their children are an unwanted burden.
The child’s feeling is vulnerable. They often feel more emotional. When your child did something that upsets you, expressing warmth doesn’t mean you just have to let it slip. It is like when they cause a friend to complain about them, denying it is not how it works. Talk to them and ask them not to do it again; let them admit their wrongdoing and ask them to apologize. It is like teaching our child to be more responsible for their early age will not give you something to be afraid of in the future. Not all parents are expressive of their feelings. A parent does really care for their child yet lacks in giving physical affection. They could be more verbally open and express their love through words. This is a practice that a parent must understand. A child relies on your action and words. If you let them feel loved, they will definitely make you feel loved.
Show Affection through Appreciation
There is a moment in your life that your child shows you something they did. Like drawing a house or a tree and you as a parent must show appreciation for it. Rather than asking what did they draw, ask them to tell you something about it. In that case, they will start telling you a story and will be actively happy with your conversation. You may not understand every word they say, at least you made them happy by showing warmth and excitement about their certain achievement.
A parent can feel frustrated with their children, yet they show too much affection to them. Do not let your children feel they are being a burden to you. A 3-year-old child catches your action and imitates them. What you gave them is what they give back. You show warmth and affection, they definitely will do the same. Because to our children, we are their role models. What they see in us is what they wanted to be. Show your love at an early age, for they will cherish you for the rest of their lives.
Build a Teamwork with Your Husband
One of the best practices in parenting is to have teamwork with your husband. Assign duties for you and for him. Make your child feel their father because that is essential too. You may want him to put your child to bed or switch off the light during bedtime. Be comfortable asking for help. It is never too hard to build teamwork.
Let Your Husband Take-Over Your Task Sometimes
Letting your husband take over your task can be a hint to have time to relax. Encourage him to cook for their meals, give them a bath, or simply bond together. It is important for a child, especially 3 years old, to feel loved by a father. It is definitely to let your husband be a mother sometimes. This is significant because he holds to value you as the mother of their child. This builds teamwork between the two of you. And teamwork is very important in parenting.
Do What Works for You, Your Husband and Your Child
You may feel pressured to do things that other parents advise you to do. This makes better, that helps better. But don’t just do what other people told you so. As a mother, you know what works for you and what is not. It is a simple reaction, especially to those who are new parents but listen to your guts. Parenting a 3-year-old child can be stressful. But you and your husband can build teamwork and do what you think is right for your child. You don’t need to follow this and those. You as a parent know exactly what to do.
Parenting can be a hassle, but there is no perfect thing such as a perfect parent, and little do we know that sometimes children can get disobliged. This shows that parenting is important in your child’s life, especially at an early age of three. It is significant that being in your kids’ life is important; you need to be present in their life today for you to have a big part in their lives in the future.
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Faber, Adele, and Elaine Mazlish. How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk. Simon and Schuster, 2012. ↑
Rohner, RONALD P. “Patterns of parenting: The warmth dimension in worldwide perspective.” Psychology and culture (1994): 113-120. ↑